Brotherhood
by IceAngel2
Summary: The story of a very special and unique friendship between two canines...follows Lupin and Black from their Hogwarts years to their adult lives. (Not Slash) Chapter 8 is an Author's Note. Please read it.
1. Introductions

Disclaimer: Don't own any of them except for Amanda, Perseus, Orion, and Athena. They are mine…heehee. 

Author's Notes: This is story is SOMEWHAT non-cannon because of the fact that I make Lily and Remus good friends before he becomes friends with the rest of the gang. If you've got problems with that, just let me know, and…I make a mental note of it…and…er…I dunno. Whatever. Anyway, I also add little new spin to the love story between Lily and James. You'll see a lot of small details and story ideas based on some movies out there such as Face Off, Braveheart, and While You Were Sleeping, but I think you'll like…I hope. Heehee, well, enough of my babbling! Off you go to reading!

~Chapter 1~

"AMANDA!" 

The peaceful silence that had surrounded the large, handsome manor was split by the shrill voice of its master. Its mistress had been sitting in the parlor, along with her daughter and son, enjoying a nice cup of tea when the voice called out again, closer this time, and more urgent then the voice had ever sounded.

"AMANDA! CALL THE HEALER! NOW!"

At the sound of the words the entire family jumped up, the mistress, Amanda, ran to the fireplace to call for the family doctor, the two children ran to the door to open it for their father. What they saw would be ingrained in their memories for the rest of their lives. 

"Father! What happened?!" the boy asked as he helped his father carry the prone body of his youngest brother into the family common room. The daughter, though older than the boy, seemed a bit too shocked to do anything that would help. She stood there at the door, staring at the spot her father had once occupied. Her complexion, although naturally pale, seemed as white as the blouse she had on at the moment. 

"Mistress Athena? Young mistress? Was that the master?" The girl shook herself from her moment of pure shock before getting into her business like mindset. 

She looked down at the small house elf. "Mindy, go get some hot water, bandages, and a clean towel, please…"

"Yes, mistress," without another word, the elf disappeared to retrieve the things she'd been sent for. 

Athena took in a deep breath before stealing herself for what she was about to see again. When she walked into the common room she saw her mother in tears near the couch, her father frantically running around looking for various things that might help his youngest son, and her brother sitting on the floor, holding her other brother's hand, murmuring comforting words. 

"I never should have sent him out when I knew that it would be getting dark…oh, I never should have…" Athena walked over to her mother and laid a hand on her shoulder. "Oh, Athena…what are we going to do? What are we going to do?" 

"Mother, it wasn't your fault," she soothed, "there was no way you could've known." Although her reaction to first seeing her father and brother at the doorway was anything but cool and collected, Athena lived up to her namesake. She was blessed with an incredible intellect as well as the ability to stay calm in hectic situations. 

"Oh, but…what kind of mother sends her seven year old son out on an errand at night time?! Oh…what are we going to do? What are we going to do?"

Athena's attention was drawn away from her mother when the house elf, Mindy, returned with all the things that had been asked for. "Thank you, Mindy, you may go," she said calmly as she took the things from the small servant. "Orion, let me take a look." Her brother moved over to let her clean the wound. "Oh, God…"she whimpered when she saw the actual cut.

"What? What is it?" Orion demanded. 

Athena didn't acknowledge her brother's question, instead she looked to her father who had gone to her mother to help comfort her. "Father…was this…" the solemn look in his eyes told her that, yes, it was what she thought. 

She couldn't help but let the tears flow down her cheeks as she went back to cleaning her baby brother's wound. "Perseus…what…who…I don't understand. How could anybody attack a seven year old boy?" her mother demanded as she buried her face into her father's chest. 

"It wasn't a person, Mandy…It was a werewolf…"

Amanda's head shot up at the words. "But, Perseus…there are no werewolves in England…there aren't."

"Apparently…there are…and our son just got bitten…"

The family sat in silence as they waited for the doctor to arrive. Athena looked over at her brother again. He looked so young. True that he was small for his age, born two months premature, but now he seemed smaller than usual…and the blood…God, the blood that was leaking out of him. A small part of her, hidden in the deepest reaches of her soul, hoped that the doctor wouldn't arrive on time. It wasn't because she wanted to rid the world of another dark creature, no, her baby brother could never be a dark creature. She just didn't want him going through the pain that she knew was coming for him. She remembered some of the stories she'd read in school about how the Ministry dealt with werewolves, and she didn't want that happening to him. 

"Athens?"

Her attention was drawn back to the present by the sound of her little brother's nickname for her. "Shhhh…it's alright, Rome…you're going to be alright," she soothed as she glided her hand, palm facing down, over her brother's face, her finger tips grazing his lips ever so slightly. (*) "You're going to be alright…"

"Athens…" he mumbled as he drifted off into unconsciousness again. 

"Shhh…Don't worry, Rome…I won't let anything happen to you, I promise…"

***

__

~*Nearly three years later*~

Platform 9 ¾ at King's Cross Station in London was once again alive with the hustle and bustle of wizarding families sending their children off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For the Lupin family it was their youngest child, a boy, by the name of Remus. He was young for his class, his birthday being in that time period where he could either be very old for his grade or very young. The headmaster decided that in Remus Lupin's case, very young would be better. 

The arrival of the letter had come as a surprise to the family, who had expected for Remus not to be invited to attend Hogwarts. Of course, that wouldn't have stopped the family from educating the young boy, all four of his other family members being Hogwarts graduates. The letter, however, had been a welcomed surprise. 

The Lupins had questions and doubts at first, being very protective of their youngest, and had considered not allowing him to attend. They had thought that, perhaps, it would be safer for Remus and the other students at Hogwarts if he did not attend, but Dumbledore had been adamant about him being a Hogwarts student. Arrangements had been made to accommodate Remus' special needs, and Dumbledore assured the family that they would take good care of the boy. 

One would think that after sending two other children off to Hogwarts, the Lupins would be used to saying goodbye every September 1st, but as mentioned, Remus was a special case. His much older brother and sister, his brother being 21 and his sister being 24, were also reluctant to let their baby brother grow up. 

"Okay, son, I want you to be careful…and write if anything goes wrong," Perseus Lupin said to his son as he placed a strong hand on Remus' small shoulder. 

"Be careful, Remus," Amanda Lupin bent down to give her son one last hug before making room for her other son to say his goodbyes. 

"Study hard, little man, okay? But don't forget to have fun either…and pray that you don't get stuck in the Slytherin house." Orion Lupin stared down at his little brother with a large grin. He knew that there was no way Remus would be sorted into the infamous Slytherin house, one look at the little boy and anyone could see there wasn't an indecent bone in the child's body, but he still couldn't help but be wary about it. 

Orion ruffled Remus' sandy brown hair before making room for his sister. "Okay, now promise me that you'll write everyday."

Remus sighed and rolled his eyes. "I promise," he said as he looked into his sister's eyes. She gave him one of her looks. "I promise…really…I'll write you, Athens…Okay?" 

She looked at him for a moment, kneeling on one knee so she could see into his soft hazel eyes. "You take care of yourself, Rome, you hear?" Her eyes began to fill up with tears as she glided her hand over his face in the manner she'd always done since the first day she'd seen him. "I'll miss you."

"I'll miss you too," he whispered as he did the same to her.

"I think you should get on the train, son, before it leaves without you." Perseus knew that if he didn't break things off between his two children, they wouldn't want to let go. He helped load his son's trunks into a compartment near the end of the train before saying his final farewells and leaving. 

Remus sat alone in his little compartment as the train began to pull away from the station. He stuck his head out the window in time to give one last goodbye to his family, the only friends he'd ever known. He was thankful that he was alone in the compartment when he felt the familiar sting of tears welling up in his eyes. ~You're not going to cry on the first day of school,~ he thought bitterly as he roughly wiped away the offending droplets before they had a chance to roll down his cheeks. 

"Aw, is little crybaby homesick already?" 

Remus' head shot up at the sound of the cold teasing voice. He hadn't realized someone had pulled open the door. The boy was tall and slim, with white blond hair, and sharp features. He also had three other boys with him, two were large and ugly, like trolls, the other was tall and slim as well, but with black hair and a sharp, hooked nose. 

"What's the matter? Too scared to talk?" the blond asked with a cruel smile on his face. Remus remained silent and turned away, looking out the window. "Don't turn away from me when I'm talking to you," the boy said angrily. He reached over and flung Remus around with such force that he fell off his seat. "What are you? Some kind of mute?"

"Just leave me alone," Remus finally mumbled as he started to get back up. 

"So, it does talk…who said you could get back up?" As soon as Remus was on his feet he was shoved back to the ground again by the larger boy. ~So this is what Orion meant by bullies,~ he thought with an inward groan. 

"Why don't you leave him alone, Malfoy?" 

Remus couldn't see who spoke the words, but he could tell that his "new friend" knew who it was from the sound of the voice. "Bugger off, Potter, this isn't any of your business," the boy, Malfoy, growled. 

"School hasn't even started yet, and you're already bothering someone. So, we're making it our business," a second voice shot. 

"Where there's one, there's always the other," the tall boy with the hooked nose muttered as he rolled his eyes. 

"That's what friends are for, Snape. But then again, I supposed you wouldn't know that, would you? Tell, me, do you know what friends are?" 

"Why don't the four of you leave before we start something?" the original voice, Potter, Remus assumed, stated calmly. 

Malfoy looked down at Remus for a moment, sizing him up, before straightening himself out. "Let's go. The baby down there doesn't seem like much fun to pick on anyway." 

With a few last shoves and choice words Remus' four bullies walked out of his compartment. He looked up to see who he assumed was Potter and his friend, both with their trunks behind them, standing in the doorway. "Do you mind if we join you? All the other compartments are kind of full and a bit too crowded." Remus just nodded his head as the two boys made their way into the compartment and shut the door behind them. "My name's James Potter, and this is Sirius Black."

"Remus…Remus Lupin."

"Remus, eh?" the boy, Sirius, said as he sat down in the seat across from him. "After Romulus and Remus?"

"Yeh, it's somewhat of a family tradition to name your kids after famous Greek or Roman mythological characters," he answered shyly. 

"Well that's cool," Sirius nodded in approval. 

Remus watched as James finished putting his trunk away before adding quietly, "Thank you…for your help with…that situation."

"Don't worry about it…Malfoy and his goons are all just piss and wind," James said with a grin. "My father warned me about Malfoy…I think he's a Slytherin third year or something."

"Yeh, you can tell Snape's going to be a Slytherin too …" Sirius muttered as he leaned back in his seat. 

"Good riddance…at least we won't have to deal with them all the time then."

"What makes you so sure about that?" Remus asked. 

"Well, because it's safe to say that non of us in this compartment is going to be a Slytherin. You see, my father was a Ravenclaw, and my mother was a Gryffindor…so I have to be either one of those, I'm hoping for Gryffindor. Potter, over there, well…every single member of his family was a Gryffindor. And well…I don't know you yet, but you look too nice to be a Slytherin," Sirius stated matter-of-factly. 

"Looks can be deceiving though," Remus mumbled. 

Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. "Maybe in some cases, but not in yours. I mean have you taken a good look at yourself in the mirror? You, with your large puppy dog eyes and those long lashes, and that quiet, timid manner you've got…Trust me, Remus, you wouldn't last an hour in the Slytherin house." 

"Yeh, if you end up a Slytherin, I swear I'll eat my wand," James grinned. 

Remus just stared at the two boys and shrugged. If only they knew the darkness that resided inside of him, hidden in the deepest reaches of his consciousness. If only they understood what it was like… 

~Oh, stop pitying yourself, you bloody git,~ he thought bitterly as he turned to look out the window. He didn't notice the fact that Sirius and James both gave him curious glances. It seemed as though the two boys were friends from outside Hogwarts. ~I wonder,~ he thought silently as he turned back and saw the two of them playing a card game on the floor of the compartment, ~I wonder what it's like to have friends…real friends other than your family.~ He sighed as a depressing thought came to him, ~I suppose I'll never know.~

***

"So what do you think of him?" Sirius whispered as he and James walked towards the very large man calling for all of the first years. 

"What do I think of whom?" 

Sirius just rolled his eyes before sighing. "You know, that boy, Remus, we shared a compartment with. He seemed quite strange, didn't he?"

"I thought he was alright, kind of quiet, but pleasant all the same," James shrugged as he got into one of the boats with Sirius by his side as the large man, Hagrid, ordered. 

"Yeh, I suppose so, but what was all that jabber about looks can be deceiving…do you think he WANTS to be a Slytherin?" Sirius made sure to keep his voice down so that the other boy in the boat with them wouldn't hear, lest he be a Slytherin. 

James smacked his friend on the back of his head. "Don't be thick, nobody WANTS to be a SLYTHERIN…unless, of course, you're Snape or Lucius Malfoy."

"That was completely unnecessary violence, James Edward Potter." Sirius glared at his friend playfully before turning back around and searching for the boat that the boy in question was in. 

After a few moments of squinting into the darkness, he finally spotted Remus in the boat with Hagrid. There was also a chubby little boy with white blond hair, and a girl with flaming red hair. Remus and the girl were chatting quietly, the girl occasionally stopping to giggle at something he said. 

~Well, the bloke's got to be pleasant if he's made friends with a GIRL already,~ Sirius snorted as he turned back around. He would never understand why some boys kept girls around as friends. All girls did was squeal and giggle about nonsense, and all they cared about was not getting dirty or breaking a nail. Girls were no fun at all. 

Sirius had been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn't noticed he'd walked into the main hall of the castle already. He was jolted back to reality when he heard a voice demanding all the first year's attentions. "ATTENTION PLEASE!" He looked up to see a witch standing before them at the top of the grand staircase. No matter how much he disliked people of the opposite gender, he had to admit that the witch was a very handsome woman. Not pretty like some of the girls in his class may be called, but beautiful in an old-fashioned, noble way. She somewhat reminded him of his mother back home. 

"Welcome to Hogwarts! In a few moments, you will walk through those doors and into the Great Hall to be sorted into your houses. They are Gryffindor, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Slytherin. Whatever house you are sorted into will be your family for the rest of you years here at Hogwarts. All of your victories and loses will be shared with the rest of your house. Points will be awarded for every good deed you do, and taken away for every mistake you make. At the end of the year the house with the highest number of points will win the House Cup. Now…please remain here until you are called for. And do try to stay quiet."

Without another word she turned and walked down a long corridor, disappearing behind a sharp turn. As soon as she was out of sight, the entire first year body burst into conversations ranging from what houses they wanted to be sorted into, to exactly what was involved in the sorting ceremony. Sirius, for once in his life, remained silent and took a look around the hall. His ear picked up on the conversation Remus was having with the red haired girl. 

"I still don't understand, Remus…"

"It's really not that complicated, Lily…once you go in there you get sorted into your house. It doesn't hurt or anything." Remus smiled shyly.

"But what are the houses for?"

"Well, there are four different towers, one for each house, and when you're sorted, that's the dorm you'll stay in for the seven years here. Your house is also the people you'll take classes with, and most probably become close friends with."

Sirius couldn't be sure, but at the mention of friends he could have sworn that Remus' voice took on a rather sad note. He didn't have time to consider this, however, because at that moment the magnificent doors to the Great Hall swung open. All the first years were surprised to see the witch standing just inside the doors. "Follow me, and please remain in a single file line."

Sirius shuffled himself into the line that was forming right behind James. He looked around in awe at the ceiling and at what seemed like the endless sea of black fabric. "If you'll all line up along here please. Now, when I call your name, please step up and take a seat on the stool. I shall place the sorting hat on your head and you will then be sorted into your houses. ARCHAN, SAMANTHA!"

Sirius watched as a small girl walked up to the stool and took a seat on it. It took a moment before the hat yelled out, "RAVENCLAW!"

"ADAMS, BRENDAN!" The little boy Sirius and James had shared the boat with walked up to get sorted. The hat declared him to be a, "HUFFLEPUFF!"

"BAKER, JONATHAN!" 

~Okay, we're in the B's now…just relax…you know there's no way you're going to get Slytherin. So, be happy with whatever you get,~ Sirius told himself as he waited for his name to be called. 

After a seemingly endless list of B's, ~HOW MANY BLOODY B's CAN THERE BE?!~ the witch finally called out, "BLACK, SIRIUS!"

He felt James squeeze his shoulder supportively before he walked up to the stool. The hat wasn't as heavy as it looked, but it was so big that it fell down to his nose. ~Ah, let's see…Black…Your father was a Ravenclaw, no?~

~Yes,~ Sirius swallowed the nervous lump that had formed in his throat. ~And my mum was a…~

~Gryffindor. Yes, I remember. But you are the issue at hand. Let's see what you've got in that mind of yours. You've definitely got the brains from your father, and the courage from your mother, but there's also a great deal of loyalty in you…Ah…what's this? I see that you are also capable of doing what needs be in order to get the job done right. The Slytherin house may be a good choice for you--

~OH GOD NO! ANYTHING but SLYTHERIN!~

~--but you don't want that, do you? I think that in this case the maternal characteristic outweighs the paternal, best be…~

"GRYFFINDOR!"

***

"GRYFFINDOR!" 

Remus watched as the girl he'd met on the boat, Lily Evans, was sorted into the Gryffindor house. A growing sense of dread grew within him as he ticked down the letters remaining between the E's and the L's. Sure, there was nothing really to be afraid of…that is, if you were normal. But he wasn't normal, was he? No, not even in the wizarding sense. He bet that every single person in the room, save Dumbledore himself, would grab something silver if they were to find out what type of blood was coursing through his veins. 

Werewolf. Dog. Creature of Darkness. Vermin. Every single one of those words had been spit at him in his short life time, and nothing could ever make him think that it would stop. He didn't understand why Dumbledore felt the need to have him here. All he was, was a threat to the entire student body, as well as the faculty. All it would do was give him hope. 

Hope. It sounded good to normal people, but to creatures like him, it was cruel. Hogwarts would give him hope, showing him that things can be normal, just to have it snatched away as soon as he stepped off the train at Kings Cross station again. 

The only way for him to survive life would be to not loose hope. But hope was such an easy thing to loose. So, the only way not to loose it, would be to never have it in the first place. 

He was happy with his life the way it was, with his family. Athena and Orion were the best of the best when it came to siblinghood. They were the best friends a creature like him could ever wish for. They were enough for him. So what if he didn't make any friends here? He'd gotten through the past two years without any friends, hadn't he? It wouldn't be too hard. It was nothing he couldn't handle. 

"LUPIN, REMUS!" Remus startled back to the present when the woman called his name. If he hadn't known any better he would have sworn that she gave him a small smile. Without looking either to his left or right, he walked forward towards the stool with his back straight, and his head held high. He kept his eye on his destination, making sure not to meet anybody's eyes. 

It startled him at first when the witch placed the hat on his head. Remus, being significantly smaller than the other children, found that the hat fell down to cover a great deal more of his head than it had with everyone else so far. 

~Ah…I've never had anyone like you before. Yes, you are one of a kind, aren't you? Let's see…You're set on not making any friends, are you? Hmmm…I hate to disappoint, little one, but you will…~

~I don't care what you say, you stupid hat, I'm not making any friends here!~ he thought stubbornly. 

~Ah, but you will…and let me tell you why. You want, you yearn for a connection that you can't find within the bonds of your family. There's nothing wrong with it, and no one can blame you. You've spent the last two years alone, haven't you? The little girls and boys in your area were forbidden to play with the little strange Lupin boy. You don't want to admit it, but there's a slight glimmer of hope growing within you, wishing that maybe, just maybe things will be different here. 

~Now, let's see…you've got an incredible intellect…yes, you definitely posses the mind of a scholar. Ravenclaw would be the obvious choice here, wouldn't it? But like you said, looks can be deceiving…~

~How did you know I said that?~ 

~Shut up boy and let me finish digging about your mind…let's see what else. Ah, not surprised to see a great deal of loyalty in here…~

~But I don't have anyone to be loyal to! How do you know I'm loyal?! You don't make any sense,~ Remus sighed inwardly. 

~Boy! Let me do my job. Now, where was I…ah, loyalty. You don't need someone to be loyal to in order to have the ability to be loyal within you. Now, lets see…courage would be the main factor in sorting you into Gryffindor…and you came here after all, didn't you? Took a great deal of courage to do that. So courage is not something you're lacking.~

~Courage…yeah, sure…I've been hiding for the past two years…what courage do I have?~

~When are you going to learn to keep your mouth shut?~

~But I'm not talking…~ Remus argued. 

~Yes, but I can hear you, let me finish sorting you…Slytherin…seems like you believe you belong with them, but it doesn't take brains to figure out that you're wrong. You wouldn't survive a week in that house.~

He sighed and rolled his eyes. ~Well, at least you gave me more credit than Sirius did.~

~Ah…the Black boy…hmmm…Now, your father and sister were both Ravenclaws, and your mother and brother were Hufflepuffs. Not one Gryffindor in the family, eh? I think that in your case, your courage wins out…~

~But I'm NOT…~

~Better be…~

"GRYFFINDOR!"

Remus didn't get a chance to argue again. Immediately after the name had been called out, the woman lifted the hat from his head, and shooed him off the stage. He walked to the Gryffindor table and took a seat next to Lily and across from Sirius. "Wow, that took a while," Lily whispered to him. "Why did it take so long?"

"The hat and I didn't exactly see eye to eye on some things," Remus muttered. 

"Did it want to put you in Slytherin?" Sirius asked with a grin.

Remus rolled his eyes. "No, the hat seemed think that I'd be eaten alive in that house."

"SEE! I told you, you wouldn't last an hour in that house…" Sirius started excitedly. 

"Yeah, but it did give me more credit than you did."

Sirius stared at him with a dumbfounded look on his face before asking, "What does that mean?"

"Nothing…How many more people do we have to wait on?" Remus asked changing the topic. 

"Er…about twenty more people to sort I think," Lily said, shooting a scalding look at Sirius. 

~Well, seems like Sirius and Lily are off to a good start,~ Remus thought sarcastically. 

By the end of the sorting three more girls, James Potter, and the little chubby blond boy that Remus had shared a boat with were sorted into the Gryffindor house. Introductions were made and Dumbledore's speech was given, warning all not to go near the Whomping Willow lest they get a black eye or concussion, supper was eaten, and the new first years were brought to their dorms. 

Remus still didn't understand why the hat had felt the need to put him in Gryffindor. Despite what the hat said, he wasn't brave. He'd come to Hogwarts only because his parents had asked him to. He wanted nothing more than to be at home, safe with his brother and sister, who, he KNEW, loved him. Here, there was no one. He was alone, and he'd be that way until Christmas and then again until summer. 

~You're alone, Remus…That's the way it'll always be. Might as well get used to it.~ That was the last thought running through his young mind before he drifted off into a troubled sleep. 

***

Sirius didn't exactly know what woke him up, but there he was, sitting on his bed in the middle of the night, with classes only a few short hours away. He tried going back to sleep, but something was keeping him up. With an aggravated sigh, Sirius heaved himself out of bed and made his way quietly down towards the common room. 

To his surprise he wasn't the only one up. Remus was sitting by the fireplace talking to someone. Sirius really couldn't make out any details, but he could tell that the head belonged to a woman with long dark brown hair and soft hazel eyes. ~It has to be his mother,~ Sirius thought with a smile. 

It had been two weeks since the start of school, and all had gone well…well, as well as can be expected in most cases. He had made connections in every single house, except for Slytherin, and he was rising in the popularity ranks in the Gryffindor house. The only two people that he hadn't become close with were Lily Evans and the boy he was watching now. 

He knew why Lily didn't like him much, but Remus was a different story altogether. Lily was friends with other people, popular among all the girls and most of the boys. Remus, on the other hand seemed to like being on his own. He distanced himself from his three roommates, James, the chubby blond, Peter, and himself. The only person he was seen socializing with on occasion was Lily. 

Sirius didn't know what was going on with Remus, but he was set on finding out. Normally he'd leave issues like this alone. If a person wanted to be by themselves, then let them, but there was something about Remus that made things different. He isolated himself, but he always looked so sad, and lonely. He looked like he wanted a friend, needed the connection that can only be found between two good friends, but something was holding him back. Sirius aimed to find out just what was keeping Remus from reaching out and making a connection. 

His attention was drawn to the conversation Remus was having with the woman. 

"Is there something wrong, Rome?"

Remus shook his head. "No…I…I guess I just wanted to see your face…hear your voice. I don't really like it here, Athens…" 

~Ahha! So it's his SISTER!~ Sirius thought triumphantly. 

"You're just a bit homesick right now, but after you make some friends…" 

"But I don't want to…" Remus said in a non-joking manner.

Athena stared at her brother before gently saying to him, "You don't mean that, Remus. You can't go through life without making a connection like friendship."

"Why not? I've done for the past two years, haven't I?" 

"Now you listen to me, Remus Joshua Lupin," Athena said with a bit of anger in her voice. She took in a deep breath and started a bit more calmly, "I know what you're thinking…as long as you have Orion, mum, dad, and me, you don't need friends, but you do, Rome. You do. Mum and dad, despite what they say, are not going to live forever. Orion and I…with jobs like ours, and with the strength of dark magic growing…you need to accept the fact that we won't be here for the rest of your life. I swear that we'll be there for you for the rest of ours, but we can't be there for the rest of yours."

"Athena…Don't…"

"Remus, promise me that you'll make an effort to make some friends…promise. You can't go through life alone. You need people, friends, bonds in order to give your life meaning."

Remus fought back the tears, but it was a losing battle. "I just…I miss you, Athens…I want to be home. I go to sleep every night, hoping that it's all a dream, that I'll wake up and be home, where I don't have to worry…worry and be afraid all the time." The tears were running down his cheeks now, and he sniffled. "It's too hard…I can't do this, Athens…I can't."

"Yes you can. I have faith in you…it doesn't matter what others think, Remus…it doesn't. You are a wizard, and you belong there. It is your right. What happened two years ago could not have been helped, and it wasn't your fault. Things happen for a reason, Remus. The sooner we mortals can accept that, the happier we'll be."

"I miss you," Remus muttered again. 

Sirius watched as Remus held out his hand and glided it down his sister's face, making sure not to burn himself. He saw Athena's hand slide into view and do the same thing to Remus. "Take care of yourself, Rome…and please…do as I asked you to."

***

(*)--This is from Face Off. So, if you need help picturing what Athena is doing, then watch the movie. It's good anyway, you may actually enjoy it. *Wink wink* *Grin* 


	2. Loss

~Chapter 2~

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~*September 1, 1976*~

"Hey! REMUS! Over here!" 

The Lupin family swung around as one at the sound of their youngest's name. A smile lighted Remus' tired features at the sight of the small, pretty red-head. "Hi, Lily!" he called after her. 

"You've got a girlfriend already? You sly fox, you," Orion teased. He couldn't help but laugh when Remus turned a bright shade of red. 

The family walked over to Lily, Remus slightly ahead of the others. "Hi, Remus! How was your summer?" she asked as she flung her arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze. 

"It was alright…how about you?" Remus grinned back. At the sound of Orion clearing his throat he realized that introduction hadn't been made yet. "Oh, Lily, these are my parents, my brother, Orion, and my sister, Athena."

"How do you do?" Lily gave a polite smile, and shook each of their hands.

"This is Lily Evans, she's a Gryffindor as well."

"These are my parents," Lily said with a smile as she pointed out the two adults behind her. 

Remus saw that Lily took after her father quite a bit with her red hair and emerald green eyes. "So, you ready for another year at Hogwarts?" Lily asked when she saw that the two sets of parents had started a conversation. 

"I suppose so," he said with a mock sigh. 

"Oy! REMUS!"

Both children, as well as all the parents looked up to see two boys running towards them. "Oh, no…not THEM," Lily hissed under her breath. 

After his late night chat with Athena in mid-September his first year, Remus had made good on his promise to his sister and actually made an effort to make some friends. The ease of it all was a bit startling to him. Sirius was naturally social, so it hadn't been hard making friends with him, and James seemed eager enough to add another name to his short list of close friends. Peter on the other hand was just a tack on, someone that came with the package of Sirius and James. 

Of all of his friends, though, Lily was the closest. Remus had heard Sirius complaining about girls numerous times, but there was something about Lily that made it impossible to dislike her. She was honest and sweet; impossible to hate…Well, that is if you weren't Sirius Black. Nobody knew why the two of them got off on the wrong foot, but it hadn't been resolved within the first year, and it seemed like it wouldn't be resolved any time soon. 

"Why do you hate him so much exactly?" Remus whispered, as James and Sirius still had a way to jog to get to them. 

Lily raised an eyebrow, "You want the full length list, the abridged, or are you happy with the knowledge that I do indeed have a list of complaints against him?"

Remus would have commented, but James and Sirius decided to appear at that moment. "Hey, Remus, long time no see. How was your summer?" Sirius asked as he slapped his friend on the back playfully. As an after thought he added, "Lily."

Remus couldn't help but smile when Lily just snorted lightly and flicked her hair back before turning around to talk to her parents. "You could try and be a bit nicer to her, you know."

"I would be nicer to her if she wasn't so impossible all the time!" Sirius shot. He looked around and saw the Lupin clan standing together and watching the three boys. He didn't know for sure if it was Remus' family, but there was no doubt in his mind it was. He recognized Remus' sister from that night in the common room, and the others just had the same soft-spoken look about them. 

He was about to go introduce himself, but James beat him to it. "Hi, I'm James Potter and this is Sirius Black. Pleased to meet you!" James held out a hand and shook hands with each one of the family members. 

"So this is the infamous James and Sirius," Perseus said with a twinkle in his eyes. "Remus has told us all about you."

"Putting superglue on the Slytherin seats in the Potions classroom was INGENIOUS!" Orion said with a wide grin. 

"As much as I'd like to take credit for it, it was actually your brother's idea," Sirius said as he elbowed Remus in the ribs. 

Perseus and Amanda both shot a reprimanding look at their son. "Heehee…would you look at the time!" Remus exclaimed as he withered under his parent's gazes. "Don't want to miss the train!" 

"We'll have this conversation when you get back," Perseus said sternly. Although he loved the fact that his son was making friends and living a semi-normal life, he didn't like the fact that he was coming up with pranks. 

"Yes sir…" Remus mumbled as he stood in front of his father with his head down. Out of nervous habit he start scuffing his shoes on the pavement. 

"Good going, you stupid git," James muttered to Sirius as he glared at him. The two boys slowly distanced themselves from the Lupins, giving them some room for the farewells that James and Sirius had already said to their families. 

Sirius shrugged helplessly, "How was I supposed to know they would take it that way?"

Remus said his goodbyes to his parents before turning to his siblings. "Don't mind dad too much. Just have some fun, little man. You deserve it." Orion winked before walking off. 

"I'm not going to cry this time, Rome…"

Remus nodded in agreement. "Neither am I, Athens…" He took in a deep breath to make good on his statement. "Thank you. I don't know why I thought I'd be able to get through life without any real friends."

"Friends give our lives meaning, Remus. Never forget that…" Athena ran her hand over his face while saying, "I'll miss you."

Remus returned the gesture. "I'll miss you too…but we'll see each other again at Christmas time," he added happily. 

Athena's eyes turned sad before she nodded slightly. "Yes," she said wistfully, "we'll see each other at Christmas. Take care of yourself, Rome."

"Okay…I'll write you when I get there." Without another look back he turned and followed James and Sirius onto the train. 

"Hey, Remus," Sirius started when the boys had found themselves an empty compartment at the end of the train, "what's with the hand thing that you and your sister do?"

"I dunno," Remus said thoughtfully. "It's just something that Athens has always done. I don't know where she got it though."

Sirius just nodded and shrugged, "Fair enough."

"Where's Peter?" James asked suddenly as the train began to pull out of the station. 

The two other boys looked around the compartment stupidly before shrugging. "You don't think the stupid git missed the train, do you?" Sirius asked as he rolled his eyes. He actually wouldn't put it past the boy to do something like that. He didn't really like Peter, but James seemed to. So, he kept his mouth shut and let the boy into the small circle of friends that had formed within the walls of Gryffindor tower. 

"Well, if he did, he's going to have a picnic explaining it to McGonagall." James sighed as leaned back in his seat. 

The door to their compartment slid open suddenly, and the boys looked up expecting to see a sweaty, panting Peter. What they did see made two of them roll their eyes. "Well, it's nice to see you two too," Lily huffed as she rolled her eyes. She automatically turned her attention to Remus, "Remus, I was wondering if I could take a look at your Defense homework. There was one answer I just couldn't find anywhere in the text book." 

Remus just shrugged before searching his trunk for his book. "You two are already talking about HOMEWORK?!" James exclaimed as he smacked himself on the head.

"Yes, well, some of us aren't as gifted as the two of you," Remus grinned as he handed the homework to Lily. "People like Lily and I actually need to WORK to get the grades we get."

"I thought that copying homework would be beneath you, Lily," Sirius said with slight malice in his voice that only Remus picked up. 

Lily didn't seem fazed by Sirius' insult at all. "From someone like you maybe…but I know for a fact that Remus' homework is credible, and that I'd give him my homework if he were to ask." Lily glare at him before turning back to Remus. "Thank you, Remus, I'll have this back to you as soon I'm done."

"Take your time, Lily. There's no rush." Remus blushed when Lily gave him a bright smile. She gave one last glare at Sirius before leaving. 

"You know, if I didn't know any better I would think that you fancied her," Sirius said suspiciously. 

"What? No…Lily's just a friend."

Sirius gave him a look that clearly said, ~I don't believe you.~ "Yeah, sure…"

"Hey, Remus, why does she hate us so much?" James asked randomly. 

"Well, she doesn't hate YOU exactly…The one she actually hates is Sirius."

James nodded thoughtfully. "So she doesn't hate me?"

"No, the only reason why there's animosity between you and her is because you and Sirius are basically inseparable."

Sirius jumped up and exclaimed, "You're not going to dump me for a GIRL, are you?!" 

"Don't be thick, you nitwit. You know I wouldn't do that."

"Good! Cuz for a second there I got the impression that YOU fancied her too!" Sirius fell back in his seat melodramatically. "And if the two of you fancied her, that would mean that I'D have to fancy her! Because of course the three of us can't do anything separately, can we?"

*** 

About three months later, Sirius found himself running up the stairs to the dorm room that he, Peter, James, and Remus shared with a new bit of gossip. "You guys will not believe what I just heard!" he exclaimed as he burst into the room. 

"What?" James asked, splitting his attention between his friend and his homework. 

"I've just heard that the Slytherins have officially named us THE vindictive clique of the school…haha!…Where's Remus?"

James looked up at the mention of his other friend. He honestly hadn't noticed that Remus wasn't in the room. The boy was just so quiet that sometimes it was easy to forget he was there, or, in this case, not there. "I dunno…I thought he was here."

James and Sirius both turned to look at Peter. He just shrugged in response. "I thought he was with you," he said meekly. 

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Well, he obviously isn't. You know, that git does this a lot."

"Does what?" James mumbled as he went back to his homework. 

" 'Does what?'" Sirius mocked. "Disappear, that's what. Tell me, honestly, how many times did he go missing last year? And it hasn't changed at all this year! It's not even Christmas yet, and he's already been missing at least twice."

"Actually this would be the third time," James said calmly as he put away his work. "Okay, so I suppose that tonight we're going to try and figure out why Remus disappears so often?" he asked sarcastically. It was obvious that he wasn't going to get any work done with Sirius in this state.

Sirius glared at him. "Don't tell me you don't care."

"Of course I care, but did you ever stop and think that maybe he doesn't tell us where he goes because he doesn't want us to know?" James raised and eyebrow for emphasis. 

"But we're his friends! He HAS to tell us…and if he doesn't, then it's just an invitation for us to go snooping."

"No it's not! Sirius, Remus deserves his privacy. Give him some room…why do you care about this so much, anyway?" James asked suspiciously. 

"Because he's my FRIEND."

"No, there's something else, and you're not telling us. What is it?"

Sirius looked at him for a moment, then looked at Peter, then back at James. He looked around to make sure that no one else could hear, and shut the door to their room. "Did you ever notice that whenever he comes back from wherever he goes, he looks horrid? I mean, he always looks as though he hasn't slept in months, and he's got bruises all over his arms…and I think it's safe to say that his arms are probably not the only part of his body that's bruised…"

"What are you saying, Sirius?" James had noticed this too, but hadn't really mentioned it to anyone before. Hearing that Sirius saw this somehow made it real to him. It was true that Remus wasn't his best friend, but the boy was well on his way to becoming one. There was just something about him that made it impossible to dislike him. He was…for lack of a better word, pleasant, and likeable. 

"You think that someone in one of the other houses is jumping him?" Peter asked, his eyes wide with fright. 

"No…that's not what I think at all…Both the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws like him too much, and the Slytherins know that they'd have the entire school after them if anything happen to anyone in the other three houses. No, this is something different." Sirius shook his head and walked over to the dresser between his bed and Remus'. There was a picture sitting on it that Sirius now picked up and looked at. It was the Lupin family portrait. His eyes glided over the picture and stopped for a moment on the laughing image of Remus' sister. 

James watched closely before asking again, "What aren't you telling us, Sirius? Remus is our friend too, and we deserve to know everything that you do." 

Sirius glanced at the picture again and couldn't help but smile. The portrait was so sweet. The mother and father standing behind their children with proud, happy looks on their faces, the older brother standing by with his hand on his sister's back, and the oldest sister laughing with her arms wrapped around the small shoulders of the youngest boy, who was also laughing happily. 

The Lupins really were the ideal picture perfect family. They were all pleasant people, and there was such happiness there. Sirius' own family wasn't anything like it. His mother and father, although still married, were not happy. He knew that the only reason they were staying together was for the image of the happily married couple of Ministry Aurors. It wouldn't be proper for people of their public standing to go through a nasty divorce. And of course, it would be a nasty divorce. What other types of celebrity divorces were there? 

Remus' family was happy together, and they liked being in each other's company. They also LOOKED good together. Perseus was a tall man, with dark brown hair, and chocolate brown eyes that were stern yet gentle in appearance. Amanda was a bit shorter, with full curves and a classically handsome face. She also had chocolate brown eyes, but with blonde hair. 

Orion lived up to his namesake. He was a very handsome young man, well built, tall and toned. Sirius had heard his father talking of the hot new auror that would quickly rise in the ranks. Athena was the only member in the family with light eyes other than Remus. She was tall and slim with long dark brown hair that fell gracefully in large curls down to her lower back; in the picture it was held back in a simple wooden clip at the nape of her neck. 

Sirius had to give her credit. She was pretty…for a girl. His mother seemed to like her as well, and Sirius' mother hardly ever liked the rookie aurors. Elizabeth Black had been paired with the young woman to train her, and had gotten to know her through that. It was no wonder Sirius had recognized the last name when Remus had introduced himself on the train over a year ago. 

"Sirius?!" James' voice rang through his thoughts and brought him back to Gryffindor tower in Hogwarts. 

"What?!" he asked, annoyed at having his thoughts interrupted. 

"What aren't you TELLING us about Remus?!" 

Sirius sighed as he took a good look at his best friend from even before he could talk, and Peter. "Okay, but you can't yell at me…"

"For what?" James asked suspiciously. 

"If you wouldn't interrupt me, I would tell you," Sirius shot sarcastically. "I overheard him talking to his sister one night last year."

"You mean you were eavesdropping."

"No…I couldn't sleep, so I decided to go down to the common room so I wouldn't wake you guys up. Anyway, I didn't think anyone else would be up so late…early…whatever. But there was Remus sitting there talking to his sister. I couldn't help but OVERHEAR." Sirius stressed the last word while glaring at James. 

"Alright, you OVERHEARD," James said as he rolled his eyes. "So what did you hear?"

"Oh, you know, the usual…I miss you…I hate it here…I'm tired of worrying and being afraid," Sirius said sarcastically. 

"Worrying about what?"

"Being afraid of what?" 

Peter and James asked the questions simultaneously. "If I knew the answer we wouldn't be having this conversation!" Sirius said as he smacked each of his two friends on the head. 

"HEY! That was completely unnecessary violence, SIRIUS NATHAN BLACK!" James scolded playfully. "But seriously…you really think there's something going on?"

"Why else would he be afraid?"

James sighed as he took a seat on his bed. "I don't know where to even begin in trying to figure this out."

"Neither do I…" Sirius walked over to the window and stared out into the growing darkness. 

"You know…we could start by looking at the days he's been absent…you know? To see if there's a pattern or something?" Peter offered quietly. 

Sirius rolled his eyes before looking back up at the night sky. ~Peter really is an idiot sometimes,~ he thought with a snort as he started studying the stars and the moon…Sirius' eyes flew open as a thought came to him. ~Wait a minute!~ "Wait a minute!"

James and Peter both flew out of their seats in surprise. "What?!"

"Peter, you're a GENIOUS!" Sirius yelled as he ran towards Remus' pile of books. 

"You know, you may want to ask Remus if you can use those…" Peter began meekly. 

"Shut up before you go back to being a nitwit in my book, Peter." Sirius threw open Remus' astronomy book on his bed and began flipping through the pages. ~Oh boy…if what I think is true…then…then…Then what?~ Sirius paused for a moment. ~Then Remus is a werewolf? But there are no werewolves in England…are there?~ His eyes grew wide when he saw the evidence backing up his hypothesis. Remus was a werewolf. 

"What?! What is it? What did you find?" James asked as he walked over. 

Sirius quickly put the book back before James could see what he'd been looking at. "Nothing…it was just a hunch, but it turned out to be wrong," he mumbled. "Listen…if Remus wants room, why don't we give him some?" 

"What?!" 

"You said yourself that Remus deserves some privacy…let's just drop it for a while, and give him some room. Maybe he'll talk if we don't…"

"Sirius Black, I don't know what you're up to, but…"

"Trust me, James…let's stay away from him for a while."

James looked as if he wanted to say more, but decided against it and went back to his homework. At least if Sirius wasn't talking, then he could get some work done. He still didn't understand his friend's change in heart, but then again, it was SIRIUS. The boy was known for his sudden mood changes. With a sigh James went about answering the ominous question of "Why do muggles need electricity?"

Sirius on the other hand went back to staring out the window. ~So, Remus is a werewolf…WHAT IN BLOODY HELL WAS DUMBLEDORE THINKING?!~ A WEREWOLF! A bloody werewolf was running around the school. A SCHOOL! Filled with kids like him. What if one night Remus forgot about going away and turned into a werewolf right there?! Right there in their room? 

HE WAS SHARING A ROOM WITH A WEREWOLF! ~Oh my GOD! Mum and dad would have a PICNIC with this one,~ he thought. ~So…that's what Remus meant by "Looks can be deceiving." He lied to us…he's been lying to us. All for what?! So that he could run free and be an educated dog?~ 

Sirius didn't care if he'd looked upon the boy as a good friend up until now. He was angry, and the truth of it was, he didn't care enough about Remus to consider what the boy would go through if he were to lose his only friends. That is what would happen, after all. James would stop talking to him for as long as Sirius asked, and Peter basically worshipped the two of them, so he'd do whatever they did. The group would grow farther apart from Remus until all he would be was the dark figure in the corner of the room. 

Maybe he'd put in a request with Dumbledore to have Remus moved to some other room…or maybe another tower altogether. He didn't like the feeling of sleeping next to a dark creature. He didn't like the feeling of being within a mile of a dark creature. It didn't matter if little Remus got hurt, he was protecting himself and James from a potential danger. After all he and James were practically brothers, and he'd do what needed to be done in order to protect his family. 

***

Madame Pomfrey, or Poppy as most of the faculty called her, had dealt with many bizarre medical cases in her many years as a school nurse. Or…so she thought until the previous year. Remus Lupin had walked into her infirmary making him her first lycanthropic patient. She had to admit that at first she'd thought Dumbledore a fool for thinking that a werewolf could ever be anything but a monster, but then she'd actually seen him. 

Remus Lupin was so small and almost helpless looking, but there was a great deal of silent pride in the way he walked in to the room. She'd read in his file that he'd been born premature, and that the offending bite had nearly killed him. In fact, the doctor had put his recovery down as a miracle. One look at the little boy standing next to Dumbledore told her that all the books she'd read were wrong. This boy was anything but a monster, and one look into his eyes told her that. 

"Poppy?" 

The weak voice floated through the curtains into her office. She'd given him permission to call her that since he was the only one that she could count on to come to her monthly. He was becoming routine for her. She gathered up the various potions and instruments she needed before making her way over to Remus' bed. 

"How are you feeling, pup?" she asked as she drew back the curtains. Pup…that was what he was. She'd gotten a good look at him on his first full moon at Hogwarts. She'd taken him to the Shrieking Shack, but hadn't gotten out in time. She'd had to stun him to protect herself. She still hated herself for doing it, but it'd given her chance to actually see him. 

He was adorable. Well, when he was knocked unconscious. He was still quite small, still a puppy with baby fur that was fluffy. His human hair color had carried over to his werewolf self, making him a beautiful tan and white wolf cub. She was sure that the white would go away after he shed his baby coat. He would make a very handsome wolf when he got older. 

She shook herself from her little reverie and started attending to the various cuts and bruises on his small human body. "You really did a number on yourself last night," she sighed as she rubbed some more healing potion on a rather large gash on his right calf. "You're going to be limping for at least a week, little one."

Remus nodded silently and let her work. It was one of the many characteristics she liked about him. He never complained; no matter how much it hurt, he would always sit still and let her do her job. "Now, I want you to get some more rest, young man. Do you want to stay here, or go back to your room?"

"I'd like to go back to my room, Poppy, if it's alright. I think my friends might think something odd is going on if I'm gone for too long," he sighed. 

"Alright. But don't do anything too strenuous. I'll tell the teachers that you've been here all weekend and couldn't do your homework."

"It's alright…I did it all before." Remus gave her a weak smile before easing himself off the bed. "Thank you, Poppy." 

"You're quite welcome, my little wolf cub…now, go get some sleep." 

Remus gave one last smile before turning to leave. Poppy hadn't lied, Remus could barely put any pressure on his right leg it hurt so much. With each step making his leg feel more and more like it was going to fall off, Remus limped to Gryffindor tower. "Bumblebee," he muttered the password and waited as the portrait of the fat lady swung open. He thanked God that there was no one in the common room. No people meant no question about where he'd been, and why he was limping. In all honesty, he probably couldn't answer half the questions. He didn't remember where the gash on his leg came from, nor any of the other cuts and bruises. 

He sighed as he opened the door to his room and walked in. He didn't exactly know what he'd been expecting, but the welcome he got was anything but what he was used to. There was no "Hello" or "Bugger me! You look horrid!" or "Where in bloody hell have you been?" It was just silence when he walked in. James, Peter, and Sirius were all playing a new card game called Exploding Snaps. None of them even acknowledged his presence. 

Remus just shrugged before making his way painfully over to his bed. For a moment it looked as if James wanted to ask him why he was limping, but then thought the better of it. There was silence in the room for the rest of the night, and Remus couldn't help but wonder if he'd done something wrong. He felt bad about lying to his friends, but he couldn't exactly tell them the truth, could he? They wouldn't understand. At least this silent treatment wouldn't last for too long, things would go back to normal the next morning. 

That was the thought that Remus fell asleep to that evening, but it wasn't exactly how things turned out. In fact, for the next three weeks the three boys drifted away from him. Things started changing; small things like going on to breakfast without him, not saving him a seat at lunch or dinner, sitting away from him during classes. He didn't understand what was going on.

Even Lily had noticed the change in attitude. She would not have argued against Remus dropping someone like Sirius as a friend, but he'd always been happy when the boys had been together. All Remus did now was sit alone and isolate himself. He was the worst she'd ever seen him that night. It was late November, the 28th to be exact, the first snow storm of the year was brewing outside, and everyone was starting to get excited about Christmas break. She watched him silently from across the room, staring out into space, absentmindedly rubbing his left shoulder and collarbone. He looked so lonely, and…hurt. 

~That's it. I'm going to talk to those stupid excuses for boys!~ she thought to herself as she got up and headed towards Sirius and the other two. She was about to start yelling at them when the portrait suddenly swung open. All the children looked up to see Professor McGonagall standing there with a solemn look on her face. 

"Remus Lupin, I need to speak with you for a moment."

Lily watched as Remus followed McGonagall without a word. The moment the two had disappeared through the portrait hole the chattered broke the silence that had taken over the common room. 

"What do you think they're talking about?" 

"Wonder what he did wrong…" 

"You know I heard that Sam Porter in Hufflepuff got called out by Sprout the other day…she told him that his sister had just died." 

Question flew through the air non-stop until silence fell again with the opening of the portrait. Lily looked at Remus and knew that McGonagall had given him news resembling that of Sam Porter's. His eyes were red and his usually pale skin was blotchy from crying. He didn't say a word, not that she'd expected him to, he just walked up to his room silently and shut the door behind him. 

For a moment she thought she'd go up after him, but then thought the better of it. She looked up at the door between her and her friend, and thought sadly, ~He probably wants some time alone.~ 

***

The next morning, Lily wasn't surprised to hear that Remus had left for home. What did surprise her was the presence of Professor McGonagall in the common room. 

"Good morning," McGonagall greeted as she stood in the center of the room. "I have a sign up sheet for all those of you who wish to attend the Lupins' funeral. I would suggest that at least all the first years go in support of your classmate. I know that you have all been told that Remus has suffered an incredible loss…"

"Excuse me, Professor?" Lily raised her hand in question. She had, indeed heard the news, but she wasn't sure of how it happened. "Could you tell us how it happened?"

"I'm not sure if I'm at liberty to tell you that information, Ms. Evans."

"Remus is our friend and housemate, Professor…we're just wondering how an entire family can be killed in one day…"

McGonagall looked at Lily evenly before sighing. "Remus' older brother and sister were both aurors, and were called to duty last night when there was an attack on the Ministry. Their mother and father, both being Ministry officials went to aid them as well. All four of them were killed in the attack." 

"I'll go, Professor McGonagall," Lily said as she raised her hand. As soon as she'd said that, the entire house burst into activity. It turned out that every single member of the Gryffindor house wanted to go to the funeral taking place later that day in support of their housemate.

"Sirius! Wait!" Lily called to the boy as she fought through the crowd of students. "Wait!"

She saw Sirius roll his eyes, but stop walking all the same. "What do YOU want?" he asked, annoyed. 

"Not here…let's go someplace more private," she said as she started towards the boys' room. 

"Okay, I'm here, you're here, what's this all about?" Sirius asked as he slammed the door to his bedroom behind him. 

"One word…REMUS. Why have you been so unpleasant to him lately?" she demanded as she glared at him. 

Sirius just glared back at her. "What do YOU care?"

"Remus is my FRIEND, and unlike you I care about him. So what is it? Hmmm? He look at you funny? Did he insult your intelligence? Did he say something that didn't quite suit you?"

"No…"

"REALLY? You want to know what I think? I think you're just being a bastard! Remus didn't do anything to you, did he? What? He's not good enough for you anymore? Is THAT it?" Sirius stayed silent and just glared at her. "For your information, he should have been the one to walk away from YOU, but you and I both know that he's way too sweet to do anything like that. Why? Because HE'S a DECENT human being!"

That was it. How dare the little mudblood insult him like that?! Comparing him to the likes of a WEREWOLF! "FOR YOUR INFORMATION HE'S NOT EVEN HUMAN! Remus Lupin is a dirty werewolf!" ~Well, that did a good job of silencing her,~ he thought with a smirk when Lily didn't answer back immediately. 

"You little bigot!" she finally exclaimed after a few minutes of silence passed between them. "Is THAT why you're pushing him away?! For YOUR information I've known about that since last year. People like you make me sick!"

Sirius' face burned red. "What do you know about it, you…"

"Mudblood?" Lily shot arrogantly. "That is what you were going to call me, right?" She started pacing in front of, looking him up and down, sizing him up. "Look at you," she began icily. "You think that you're on top of the world. Mr. Perfect, in his own perfect little existance where just because you're a Gryffindor you truly are brave at heart and open hearted. Where all the bigots and close-minded people are Slytherins. Well, wake up! You're no better than them! It's because of people like you there's a war brewing out there in the world beyond Hogwarts. You think that fighting a war means going out there and shooting off a wand. When are you going to realize that as long as there are people that think like you out there, this war is never going to end? 

"As long as people look down on others, there's always going to be animosity, and sooner or later, that's going to lead to war. Would it make you feel any better if someone took a gun loaded with silver bullets and shot him to death? Or maybe you'd like the honors yourself? Hmmm? You want to see me put through the Cruciatus Curse just because I was born to muggle parents? You're no better than those prejudice bigots out there killing off innocent people just because they don't fit into their idea of the perfect world!

"Remus Lupin is Remus Lupin. It doesn't matter what blood is flowing through his veins. So he changes into a wolf every once and month, so what? 29 days of the month he's still the sweet, loveable, caring, kind hearted person everyone knows him to be. He trusted you…"

"Yeah right! If he trusted us, why didn't he TELL us?" Sirius demanded as he, too, started pacing around the room. 

"Well, can you really blame him? Look at the way you reacted! I don't know much, but I'm sure that he's been through more than we can imagine. I've done the research and I've seen the way werewolves are treated. They're treated like animals, like monsters!"

"That's because they ARE!"

Lily glared at him before walking over to Remus' night table and grabbing the picture off of it. She stalked back over to him and shoved the picture in his hands. "Take a look at that. Take a GOOD look at it! Tell me that little boy in the picture looks like the monster you think he is!"

Sirius glared at her before reluctantly staring down the picture in his hands. It was Remus' family portrait. Just the other day he'd been staring at it, thinking that THIS was what he wanted in life. What had changed all that? 

~That's simple, you moron, the little boy turned out to be a blood thirsty werewolf,~ he thought with a snort. 

"Looks can be deceiving, Lily. Remus said so himself."

Lily didn't say a word, she just huffed in annoyance before storming out of his room. Sirius looked back down at the picture before a thought came to him.

~Yeah, and you told him in some cases, but not his.~


	3. Athena's Message

****

Disclaimer: Heehee, kinda forgot to do this on the last one…heehee. Check out Chapter 1. 

****

Author's Note: Okay, should have done this in Chapter 1, and then Chapter 2 when I forgot to do it on Chapter 1, but hey…you all are smart, but just in case lemme get it down on paper for ya. The type between the ~'s are thoughts, and in chapter the big chunk of text that is _Italicized_ takes place in dreamland…well, hope you enjoy!

Chapter 3

"The Lupins were a fine family. I can honestly say that it was a PLEASURE to work along side them…" 

The words, although sweet, fell on deaf ears. He didn't care how long Mr. Edmund Black had worked on the speech he was giving with such heart right now. Why did he have to listen to the words? He already knew everything that was being said at the moment. 

"The Lupins were nice people," "They didn't deserve to die so early on in life," "Athena and Orion had their entire life in front of them," "Perseus and Amanda didn't get a chance to see their youngest grow up and graduate from Hogwarts." 

All they were, were words. They didn't mean anything because what was done, was done. No matter how nice the ceremony was, no matter how heartfelt the speech sounded, the people that counted weren't there to hear it. Perseus, Amanda, Orion, and Athena weren't there. His family wasn't there. 

He was alone, now. 

__

"Remus…You can't go through life alone. You need people, friends, bonds in order to give your life meaning."

If that were true then his life had no meaning, did it? What was the point of being alive? His family was dead, his friends had abandoned him, he had no one to care for anymore. Why had it fallen on him to be the last remaining Lupin? Why? He wasn't going to amount to anything. No matter how hard he worked in school, no one was going to hire him after graduation. There would be no opportunity to make "Lupin" an honorable name anymore. 

No. That had been Athena and Orion's jobs. His was just to live, go to school, and…and…

"Remus?" 

He looked up as a soft voice whispered his name. It was the priest. "Why don't you do the honors?" he asked while handing him four red roses. 

He just nodded without a word and walked up to his father's coffin and laid a rose on top before standing on his tip toes to kiss the top of it. He did the same for his mother's and Orion's, but he paused on Athena's. 

He hadn't cried up until then, but as soon as he stood before his sister's coffin, the tears started welling up in his eyes. They burned, but he blinked them back, not wanting to cry in front of all the people there. "I'll miss you," he whispered as he laid the rose on top. He didn't kiss the coffin, though, like he had the other three. He simply ran his small hand across the top where her face would be if the casket was open. "I miss you already."

Then it was his time to be the proper mourning family member. He dutifully shook hands with every single one of the guests that walked by, noting to himself that he'd have to send all of these people a thank you card of some sort. It registered in the back of his mind that Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall, as well as the rest of the Gryffindor house, were there. As if he were in a trance he shook each of their hands, nodding silently and giving small smiles to each of his housemates as they went by. Both Dumbledore and McGonagall whispered something to him, but he didn't hear it. 

After what seemed like hours all the guests were gone, and he stood there alone as the diggers started to lower the caskets into the ground. Tears started welling up again, fighting to be released. It took him a moment to realize that someone was pulling on his sleeve. He looked over and saw that it was Lily standing next to him holding out a single white rose for him to take. For a moment he just stood there, not knowing what to do, until he felt the scalding hot tears flow down his cheeks. He quickly sniffled before taking the rose from his friend. "Thank you." 

His voice was barely above a whisper, but Lily had heard it. She leaned in for a quick hug before mumbling into his ear, "I've got to go, but I'll see you back at school…I'm sorry." 

Remus watched numbly as she ran off towards the large group of Hogwarts students and Professors waiting for her. After the group disapparated he looked back down at the flower in his hand. It wasn't beautiful like the red roses that had been left on top of the caskets. It was just simple with it's plain white petals that just begun to bloom. The simplicity of it was what made it so pretty to look at. 

It reminded him of Athena. 

A small smile graced his features for the first time in weeks as more tears started flowing down his cheeks. 

***

If someone were to ask him just how it came to pass that he was sent to Dumbledore's office at that moment in time, Sirius Black would just give them a simple shrug and say that it was an act of fate. Even he didn't know exactly how the timing had worked so perfectly. Of course at that given moment the topic of conversation between McGonagall and Dumbledore was somewhat of a sore spot for him. 

"Headmaster, you can't be serious! Justin Wallace is THE most vocal person in the fight to rid the wizarding community of dark creatures. Placing that boy under his care is the same thing as running a silver arrow through his heart. Uncle or not, you can't possibly think that the man will treat him with the love and care that a growing boy Remus' age needs." 

"I know, Minerva, but there is really nothing that I can do. Justin is the only family member Remus Lupin has left, and it is either him or an orphanage. I personally don't think the alternative is very bright either."

"Can't he stay here? What better place to put him then the school? He's already got a place for himself to transform every full moon, and Poppy will be here to help heal his wounds…and the rest of the faculty adore him. It's the perfect environment, Albus…"

"Now, Minerva, you know that staying at Hogwarts is NOT an option. The boy needs FAMILY…"

"FAMILY?! Justin Wallace will probably start searching for a reason to have that child executed the moment he sets foot in that house! I will NOT stand by while he suffers at the hand of his FAMILY!"

"Minerva, I have spoken to the Ministry and they feel that this is for the best."

"The best? If I didn't know any better, which I'm not sure I do anymore, I would think that the Ministry is doing this on purpose…"

"Minerva…"

"FINE! BUT WHEN THAT BOY DOESN'T RETURN FROM SUMMER HOLIDAY ONE YEAR, DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!" 

Sirius barely made it out of the way before the door slammed open with enough force to put a dent in the wall. He watched wide-eyed as McGonagall stormed past him without so much as a look. He'd never seen her that upset about anything before, and quite frankly, it was a bit unnerving. 

"Ah, Mr. Black, come in and close the door behind you." Dumbledore's voice shook him out of his shock. Sirius shook himself physically before doing as he was told. "Now, what was it this time, Sirius? A dungbomb that went off mysteriously in the Slytherin common room? Supergluing the Slytherins to their chairs?" 

Sirius would have made some argument on behalf of his innocence, but the twinkle in his headmaster's eyes just made him grin. "Now, I believe that it is my station as headmaster of this school to say a few words about how I will not condone pranks, practical jokes, or harassments of any kind, but I should think that a boy of your intelligence already realizes this. So, I shall skip that lecture. I will, however, have to write your parents about this, and you will be serving detention with Professor McGonagall. That will be all."

"Thank you, headmaster." Sirius stood up to leave when Dumbledore added one last thing. 

"Just between us…I find those practical jokes of yours to be quite entertaining sometimes…"

Sirius just grinned back at him before walking out of the circular office. The smile quickly faded though when he saw the dent in the wall from when McGonagall had stormed out. Her last words to Dumbledore repeated in his head as he walked down the spiral staircase. 

__

"FINE! BUT WHEN THAT BOY DOESN'T RETURN FROM SUMMER HOLIDAY ONE YEAR, DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!" 

She surely couldn't believe that Remus' UNCLE would KILL him! Sure he wasn't a fan of werewolves, but killing Remus seemed like a bit much. Actually, he didn't like the idea of going through the rest of his Hogwarts years next to an empty bed that had once belonged to a friend…a very DEAD friend. On second thought, he REALLY didn't like that idea AT ALL. 

His mind spun as he made his way up to the tower where his owl was. He quickly took out a quill and some parchment before hastily writing a letter to his parents. 

Dear Mum and Dad,

I'm not sure if you've heard already, but Remus Lupin is going to be placed under his uncle's care. I overheard Professor McGonagall having an argument with the headmaster. (no, I wasn't eavesdropping…I just happened to be there for a meeting with Dumbledore…you'll be getting a letter from him soon. I would just like to state for the record that it was JAMES' idea!)

Well, it seems that she doesn't agree with Remus being put into his care. Actually she was flat out worried about him. She mentioned some things about Remus' safety and stuff. These were her exact words: "FINE! BUT WHEN THAT BOY DOESN'T RETURN FROM SUMMER HOLIDAY ONE YEAR, DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU!" 

Remus is my friend…(although at this point I really haven't been a good one to him…but I'll tell you all about that when I see you in a week or so) I was wondering what kind of a man Justin Wallace was. Apparently he's a real player in the fight against dark creatures…I think I'm starting to agree with McGonagall's view on this situation the more I think about it... 

Well, I love you both. School is going as well as can be expected. I hope to hear from you soon! 

Love, 

Sirius

Sirius quickly sealed the letter, attached it to his owl's leg, and sent it on its way. He couldn't help but worry the more he thought about McGonagall's arguments. 

~Lily was right…you really are a bigot,~ he thought with a sigh. ~Remus is Remus, and nothing is going to change that. You are such a bloody moron sometimes, Black, it scares me.~ Sirius snorted and rolled his eyes at his own insult as he made his way back to Gryffindor tower. He wasn't one to walk away from his mistakes, and he planned on fixing this one as soon as possible. 

Ever since he'd figured out that Remus was a werewolf, he kept careful watch on the phases of the moon. He knew that the full moon was tonight. Luckily, he knew where Remus was going this time around. He'd stayed up all night next to the window in the common room the night he'd learned of Remus' secret. It was hard to fall asleep when so many thoughts were running through his mind at once, and in order to allow his roommates to get some sleep, he'd gone down to the common room. 

It was pure luck that he saw what he did. The Whomping Willow didn't always flail about if you knew which button to press. He'd watched in amazement as she disappeared into the tree and moments later returned with an extremely tired and sickly looking Remus. 

Unfortunately he didn't know exactly where to press on the tree trunk to make it freeze up, but he'd figure that out tonight. 

"James?!" he called as he entered their room. 

"What?" James' annoyed voice rang from behind the drawn curtains on his bed. 

Sirius pulled back the curtains to see his friend sitting there surrounded by his homework. "I need to borrow your invisibility cloak tonight."

James' nodded dumbly as he kept working. "My…what? WHY?" His head shot up when he realized just what Sirius had asked for.

"I need to set straight some stuff." Sirius rolled his eyes at the look his friend was giving him. "It's NOT for a prank. I think one detention per week is good enough, thank you very much. I just have some personal things to take care of…please, James. You know I wouldn't ask you like this if it wasn't important."

James stared at him for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh. "It's in my trunk over there," he said as he shook his head in the direction of his trunk. 

"Thanks, James! You're seriously the best friend a guy could ever have." 

Sirius grabbed the cloak from his friend's trunk before going down to the common room to get some work done. There was still a good three hours before the moon rose, so he figured he might as well get some work done. It didn't surprise him at all when Lily gave him a glare that would make even McGonagall proud. He didn't return it this time though, and just sat down in a chair by the fireplace. 

About an hour later, after making sure that no one was following him, he left through the portrait hole and threw on the cloak. He sat on the stairs of the entrance hall for about another hour before he saw Madame Pomfrey and Remus walking down the hallway together. He hadn't seen Remus in a while, and it surprised him to see how small he looked now. True, he'd seen him at the funeral, but he hadn't actually LOOKED at him since that night a month ago. 

He silently followed Pomfrey and his friend as they made their way across the lawn towards the Whomping Willow. He made sure he set in his memory the right knot to tap before he turned to head back to the castle for the night. He may have been known among the teachers, and most of the student body, as being reckless, but he wasn't stupid. He knew what would happen if he followed Remus then. So, it was decided that he would wait until the moon set before he made his way to wherever Remus was. 

It surprised him just how fast the night flew by. He'd spent the entire time in the common room, pacing, and practicing what he would say to Remus. In fact, he'd planned out about a dozen different dialogues based on the many different ways his friend could react. He was prepared for absolutely every response he could get from Remus; anger, fear, absolutely no reaction at all, shock, everything. 

He was still running the eighth possibility through his mind when he got to the willow. It was still a little dark outside, since the sun hadn't exactly risen yet, but it wasn't pitch black. He calmly reached over and found a long wooden stick before going as close to the flailing branches as possible. 

He'd seen Madame Pomfrey do it before but it still shocked him when the tree just stopped moving altogether. What surprised him even more was the fact that the trunk opened up for him to enter. He hadn't been close enough to see it the night before, so this came as a new development. He quickly and quietly climbed down the hole and landed somewhat hard on the floor below. 

"Lumos," he muttered as he held out his wand and started to brush himself off. Sirius found himself standing in an underground passage leading, from what he could make of it, off school grounds. The ceilings were low, but not so low that he had to crouch, the walls were set wide enough to fit maybe two grown adults side by side, and it smelled of earth. 

Taking in a deep breath, Sirius forced himself to move forward, still practicing what he was going to say in his mind. He was so preoccupied by his thoughts, he walked into a wooden door. ~Way to go, Black,~ he thought to himself as he reached for the doorknob. ~Well, here goes.~

Sirius made his way into what turned out to be a house of some sort. What little furnishing was there was mangled and torn into bits and pieces. He swallowed hard as he made his way further into the house to explore. 

"Remus?" he called quietly as he made a sweep of the ground floor. "Remus?"

Slowly and as quietly as he could he made his way up the stairs of the house to the second floor. He nearly toppled over when he heard the scream of pure agony that sounded from one of the rooms. "REMUS?!" Without even thinking he started running towards the voice. "Remus?"

He paused at the doorway and just stared at the sight before him. There he was; pale, completely naked, laying there in a puddle of what looked like blood, his own blood, and shaking uncontrollably. Sirius didn't know what was worse, the fact that his friend was in this state, or the fact that he was awake and fully aware of his presence. 

Quickly shaking himself out of his shock, he threw off his winter cloak and wrapped it around his friend. He wasn't surprised a bit when Remus shied away from him, but he was somewhat hurt. But then again, what gave HIM the right to be hurt? He shook it off and helped him to sit up. He couldn't help but wince when Remus cried out softly and had to lay back down because of the pain. 

After a few moments of just sitting there staring at him, Sirius finally found his voice. "Remus…"

"How long have you known?" His voice was weak, and shaky, but…stern all the same. 

~Well, THAT was unexpected…leave it to Remus to say the ONE thing that I didn't prepare for,~ Sirius thought sarcastically. "About a month," he muttered as he looked his friend right in the eye. 

"Is that why you, James, and Peter haven't been talking to me?" There was a hint of sadness in his voice that made Sirius just want to subject himself to a good harsh hex. 

Sirius saw a look of pain cross his friend's soft hazel eyes. "James and Peter don't know. They were just doing what I told them to…Remus…I'm…"

"You'd better leave…Madame Pomfrey'll be here soon, and I don't think this is something you could easily explain," Remus said as he turned his head and started examining the ceiling. 

Sirius sat back on his heals and stared at him for a moment. When he did start talking again, his voice was set, strong, and a bit angry. "What do you mean? You are my friend, and I…as a FRIEND, albeit a bloody bad one…am here to help you. If that's not a good enough reason, I don't know what is."

Remus turned to look at him again, before he shot up into a seated position despite the sharp shooting pain that flew through his body. His eyes were angry, and there was a fire burning in them that Sirius had never seen before. "Friend?" he spat.

Remus stared into his eyes for a moment, taking in deep breaths to calm himself. When he started speaking again it was calm, overly so that it made Sirius a bit nervous. "I HAVE NO FRIENDS. I lost all chance of that four years ago. Do you have any idea what it's like? Do you?"

Sirius couldn't help but whither under his friend's glare. He mutely shook his head. "You couldn't know, could you? I have no one. It is me against this world. For a while I had family to back me up and give me the support I need…but life has decided that I don't have enough to deal with, so it decided to take them away as well. Do you have ANY IDEA what it was like? To finally come here, and make some 'friends' just to have them walk out on you because of this?" Remus pointed to a jagged looking scar that ran across his left shoulder and chest. 

"I hoped that maybe…just MAYBE, coming here could offer me an opportunity to live a semi-normal life. A large part of me knew that it would never be possible, and for the first couple of weeks, I decided that I wasn't going to make any friends, that I could get through this BY MYSELF. But then you and James and Lily kept going at it and trying to make conversation, you three just kept pushing until finally I had no choice but to let you in. 

"I hoped that maybe Athens was right…maybe I had been stupid for thinking that I could get through life without ever making a connection…I fell for it. I fell for the trap that life sets up for me every single time, and I may only be eleven, but I'm tired of it…I'm already tired of it." 

Sirius watched in muted shock as Remus' breathing became so labored that he had to lay back down. "Remus…"

"Just LEAVE."

For the first time in his life, Sirius Black did as he was told. He stood up, as if in a trance, threw on James' cloak, and made his way quietly back to the school. 

***

__

Darkness. 

It surrounded him; an endless sea of black lit up by the rare rays of moonlight that filtered through the tops of the trees. He was home, in the place he'd go to whenever he got upset or scared. This was his secret place that no one knew of. It was his sacred place, his sanctuary, where all else in the world did not matter. It was the one place where he could wallow in his pity, his anger, his hopelessness. It was the one place where he could humor the dark thoughts that would enter his mind. 

How easy it would be to accidentally ingest a little too much wolfsbane. He could always have a small accident in the kitchen and be too weak to call a healer after he cut himself with a knife. There was also always the option of playing a little too close to the edge of the cliff that looked over the sea of rocks and boulders 20 or so meters below. 

How easy would it be to end it all? Very…but every single time something stopped him. Every single time some unseen force held him back, kept him from swallowing, cutting, jumping. He didn't know what it was, and he supposed he wouldn't know for a long while. It wasn't cowardice that held him back. He wasn't afraid to die, never was. In fact he welcomed it, he wanted it all to end, but there was always that one thing that kept him from doing it. 

He sighed as he took a look around once more. He knew these woods like he knew himself. The forest was his. Well, actually, it was his family's. He was home. But how did he get here? He wasn't supposed to be home, he was supposed to be at Hogwarts, at school. Something wasn't right. 

That's when he caught a glimpse of something moving a couple of meters away from him. His sensitive hearing picked up a rustle of leaves, the swoosh of manmade fabric; there was someone else in the forest with him. Cautiously, he stepped forward towards the sound. His eyes grew wide at the sight, and he felt his jaw drop. 

She was beautiful. Her long brown hair was down and fell to the middle of her lower back, her whole body seemed to glow with a divine light that was so white it almost seemed like there was a slight blue tint to it. Her eyes shone brightly, her smile was soft and genuine, but her expression was one of sadness. 

"Athens?" he heard himself whisper so lightly that the name got lost in the warm breeze. She didn't say a word back, but just nodded slightly. He felt the slight pressure build up behind his eyes and his nose that was a tell tale sign of growing tears. "This is a dream, isn't it?" he asked sadly as he dropped his gaze to the forest floor. 

"Yes, it is, Remus." Her voice was so soft, so soothing, just as he remembered it. 

She moved with such grace and lightness, that even his sensitive hearing didn't pick up on her footsteps. He hadn't even realized that she'd made her way over to him before he looked up to see her standing mere inches away from him. Without even thinking, he threw himself into her arms and buried his face in her stomach. He whimpered slightly as the tears started flowing down his face. "I miss you."

"I know you do. But it had to happen…" Athena pulled away from him and knelt down so she could see into his eyes. "You've grown, I think," she said with a sad smile. 

His eyes brightened at the words. "I did?" He watched as she nodded slightly, and gazed intently into her eyes. What he saw there made him think back to the last time he'd seen her. September 1, 1976. They were on Platform 9 ¾ at Kings Cross Station in London. He remembered the sadness in her voice and the pain in her eyes as they said goodbye for what would be the last time. 

He hadn't realized it then, but there was something else in her gaze that he'd brushed off. Now that he thought about it, it was as if she was trying to memorize everything about him, as if she'd never see him again. 

"You knew, didn't you?" he asked softly as the realization hit him. He didn't need an answer, he saw it in her eyes. They always were very expressive. "Why…"

"Why didn't I do something?" she asked for him. Athena reached forward and cupped his cheek in her hand, tenderly wiping away the salty tears with her thumb. "Who am I to change the course of history, Rome? Everything happens for a reason."

"That's overly cliché, even for you Athens," he muttered as he stared down at the forest floor. 

"Maybe," she smiled, "but you know it's true. Deep down in your heart, you know that it was meant to be if it happened. Just like it was meant to be that you were bitten…you've accepted that, Rome, and you're more of a person because of it…"

"MORE OF A PERSON?!" he exclaimed as he jumped back from her reach. "Athens…I'm a monster! ACCEPTING that can only make me worse…"

"The only way you can be a monster is if you stop caring. You are far from that, Rome. You are far from the monster you believe yourself to be. If you truly were what you thought of yourself, you wouldn't have friends, but you do. You do, Rome, and if you can only realize how lucky you are to have people like that it your life…"

"Lucky? My friends stopped talking to me as soon as they figured out what I am…"

"Yes, but they are only human…After all, the girl stayed with you as a friend, and she's known for a year already. And the boy…he made a mistake, and he came back to you to ask for your forgiveness. That's what matters, Remus; the fact that he came back and chose to make things right between you. Don't push them away, Rome. They are your chance at having a normal life. They are what make you more than what the textbooks say; they are what make you human. 

"As long as you have friends like them, you are more than the creature that created you. Believe me, Remus Joshua Lupin, the next few years with them by your side will be some of the best in your life…" Athens said with a smile and a twinkle in her eyes. 

Remus looked at her quizzically. "Is that a hint? I would think that the powers that be had rules against telling us mere mortals what the future holds."

Athena's heavenly face broke into a grin. "There are, but I'm not telling you what the future holds, Remus. I'm merely giving my baby brother a nudge in the right direction…"

Remus snorted and rolled his eyes before his face grew serious again. "I miss you, Athens…and I don't think that Uncle Justin likes me very much…" He grew silent as Athena's expression darkened at the mention of their uncle. He felt her grasp his hand and look him straight in the eye. He knew what was coming. "Uh-o, should I brace myself for another painful cliché?" he asked as an attempt to make light of the heavy situation. 

Athena smiled slightly. "Yes." Almost immediately her face grew serious again. "Remus, you know that we all loved you very much, right?" She waited for Remus to give her a nod. "No matter what anyone says, always know that is the truth and everything else is a lie. You were loved, and are still loved by all four of us." She paused as the tears started rolling down her cheeks. 

Remus couldn't help but cry as well when she reached out and ran her hand down his face in the all too familiar way. "I love you, Rome, and I will ALWAYS be with you, no matter what…" her voice got muffled when she pulled him to her and buried her face in his small shoulder. She held on to him tightly in hopes that maybe she wouldn't have to leave him behind to fend for himself at such a young age. She pulled back reluctantly to look into his eyes again as she cupped his face with both her hands. "You are so strong," she said with a sad smile as she started wiping away his tears with her thumbs, "and I know you want to stay here with me, but you have to go back…You have to wake up, Remus…"

"No." It was the most pitiful sound he ever heard, and it had come from his own mouth. A fresh wave of tears started to roll down his cheeks as he felt his head start to throb from the pressure behind his eyes. He threw himself at her once again, and clung to her in desperation. 

He felt her bury her face in the hallow between his neck and his shoulder, and he felt her tears soak his skin. "Be brave, Rome, and do not lose faith in your friends," she murmured as she her hand pushed his head slightly to rest on her own shoulder. "No matter how hard it gets, do not lose faith in those that you love, and those that love you in return…"

***

Remus woke to find himself clutching his pillow to his chest with tears streaming down his face. The dream…It had been so real. He'd seen her, smelled the light fragrance of her perfume, heard her soft, melodic voice. It had been real, hadn't it? He'd felt her heartbeat against her breast. She'd spoken to him…

"Remus?" came the soft voice just beyond the thick curtains surrounding him. 

It was Sirius. What was he doing up? Why couldn't he just go away and leave him in peace?

__

~Don't push them away, Rome. They are your chance at having a normal life. They are what make you more than what the textbooks say; they are what make you human.~ Her words rung in his ears as if she were right next to him, repeating them for him to hear. 

He furiously wiped at his tears and sniffled before clearing his voice quietly and mumbling, "What do you want?" 

The curtains parted just enough to let Sirius poke his head through. His eyes were bloodshot, and he had dark circles under his usually bright royal blue eyes. He looked as if he hadn't slept at all for the past few days. 

"I just…I just wanted to know if you were alright…" he mumbled as he stared down at Remus' sheets. 

"Well, I am…" Remus looked at him and saw how miserable the boy looked. "What are you doing up anyway?" 

It was a simple question, but to both boys it was a reconcile of sorts. It wasn't an "I forgive you," but Sirius didn't need to hear the words to know that his friend was willing to give their friendship another go round. 

He parted the curtains a bit more and climbed onto the foot of the bed opposite from Remus, tucking his legs beneath him, Indian style. "Couldn't sleep," he mumbled after a moment of silence. His eyes glanced at the framed picture of the Lupin family that was resting on the bed next to Remus. "You miss them?" he asked softly as he nodded towards it. 

Remus picked up the picture and slightly brushed it with his fingertips. "Yeah." He stared at it for a moment more before putting it back down next to him and resting his head back on the headboard behind him. "You know she knew it was going happen?" he asked quietly. 

"Who? What?" Sirius' brow furrowed in confusion.

"Athens…she was blessed with the sight…she knew this was going to happen. It was why she was so sad the last time I saw her…I brushed it off, thinking that she was just sad to see me go, but now that I think about it, she knew she would never see me again. I remember seeing it in her eyes." 

Sirius kept quiet as Remus hugged his knees to his chest. Tears started spilling out again silently as he rested his chin on them. He didn't know what to say to his friend, but he did know that Remus needed some sort of comfort. So, he did the only thing he could think of: he padded across the bed, settled himself next to the younger boy, and awkwardly draped an arm around him, pulling him close. They stayed like that until dawn; drawing comfort simply from being side by side, accepting the fact that mistakes had made, and a new, stronger friendship was forged from them. 

***


	4. Growing Up

Chapter 4

"So, let me see if I have this straight…" 

Sirius watched as his best friend paced their dorm room with his hands behind his back. ~He looks remarkably like Mr. Potter right now,~ he thought with a inward snort. 

"You've known for the past month why Remus disappears, AND YOU HAVEN'T TOLD US?!" 

Sirius could feel himself shrinking under James' heated glare. "Well, you see…" he started with a stutter. "It was complicated, and well…well…I was suffering through one of my more severe episodes of sheer stupidity…and well…you know me," he finally ended with a shrug and a whimper. 

"So, what exactly is it?" James asked as he rolled his eyes. 

"Okay, let's see…um…I dunno exactly how to say this…er…" Sirius began pacing himself as he reached back to scratch the nape of his neck. It had been agreed that he would be the one to break the news to the two other boys since he had been the reason they weren't talking to Remus in the first place. Of course Remus being Remus had argued that it was his business and he should be the one to tell them, but Sirius being Sirius and the stubborn jackass that he was talked the other boy into letting him do it. 

~Yeah, NOT one of your more brilliant ideas, Black,~ he snorted as he kept pacing. 

"Sirius…"

He could tell by the tone of James' voice that the other boy was in no mood for his excuses. He also knew his friend came from one of the more modern wizarding households. The Potters were by no means perfect, but they were set in their beliefs, one of them being the equal treatment of all citizens of the wizarding world, dark creatures included. He just knew that James was going give him an ear full when he confessed that the reason he'd distanced himself and the rest of the group from Remus was because of the fact that Remus was a werewolf.

~Well, might as well get it over with, Sirius old boy. No use in dragging it out,~ he thought with a sigh. 

"Alright…but do try not to get TOO too mad at me…"

"Oh, this MUST be bad," James muttered as he sat down in front of him. 

Sirius found no reason to buff out the truth, and agreed wholeheartedly, "Yeah, it is. Er…Okay…well…heehee…I don't know where to start…haha…er…."

"I have an idea, how about the BEGINNING?" James asked sarcastically. "How did you figure it out?"

"Well, it was all Peter's doing actually…" Sirius saw Peter shrink at the sound of his name. "When he gave that suggestion last month about trying to find a pattern in Remus' disappearances…Well, I actually found one…it…ah…erm…Well, there's really no other way to say this at all, is there?"

"JUST SPIT IT OUT, SIRIUS!" James exclaimed as he jumped up from his seat and started pacing again. 

"Okay, just…just…don't hurt me…Ummm…well…After thinking about it for a minute, I linked Remus' disappearances to the lunar cycle…" 

Sirius waited for understanding to dawn on his friend. He watched as James' blue eyes grew wide as he finally figured it out. "Is that why you told us to stop talking to him?" James' eyes narrowed dangerously. 

~Uh-ho, I know that look,~ Sirius winced. "I thought I was protecting you and Peter…I wasn't exactly thinking…I got scared!" 

Silently James strode over to where Sirius stood, and before anyone knew what was happening his fist made contact with Sirius' jaw, sending the other boy sprawling on the floor beneath him. 

"What was THAT for?" Sirius demanded before he could stop himself. ~Sure, look even MORE like a stupid git, why don't you?~ he thought to himself crossly. 

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," James glared at him. "I can't believe you DID that! You stupid, thickheaded, moronic, blind, pathetic fraction of a wizard!"

"That's a bit harsh, don't you think?" Sirius whimpered as he slowly lifted himself off the floor and walked over to sit on his trunk. "By God, Jim, have you been working out? Cuz that HURT!"

"It was supposed to, you twit," James glared angrily as he went back to pacing. 

"Okay, can we STOP with the bloody insults already? I was STUPID, I get the point. Don't you think I feel horrible as it is?! Don't you think that I realize what I could have done?!" Sirius rubbed his sore jaw as he eyed his oldest friend. "You have nothing to say to me that I haven't already thought to myself. But I'm here trying to make things right between all of us, doesn't that count for SOMETHING?" he sighed.

James stopped pacing and stood in front of him, staring down at him with strong set blue eyes. "You truly are a piece of work, you know that, Black?" James' eyes softened as he started rocking back and forth on his heals. "So, where is he now?"

"Ummm…I actually don't know…"

"What?"

"Er…well, I uh…I kinda told him to ah…take a um…walk around the school while I told you this…I don't know where he is now though…I don't even know if he took my advice…"

"You really are…"

"An idiot, yeah, I know," Sirius muttered sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. 

James grinned as he headed towards the door. "Well let's go find him, shall we?" he asked with a light chuckle. He turned towards Sirius and that's when he remembered that Peter was in the room as well. Now that he took a good look at the plump boy he could see that he'd gone pale and he was visibly shaking. "Peter, are you alright?"

The look that Peter gave him would have been withering, but from Peter it looked almost humorous. "Am I alright?" the boy responded with a shaky voice. "We've been living in a room with a werewolf for almost the past two years, and you can stand there and ask me if I'm alright?" Sirius and James exchanged glances before turning back to their little friend. "There's a WEREWOLF sleeping no more than two feet away from all of us, and you can ask me if I'm alright?!"

"Peter," James began calmly, "Remus is our friend, he would never hurt us…"

"He's just been hiding, waiting for the perfect time to pounce on us! I'm writing my mum about this…my dad will know what to do…I'm going to DUMBLEDORE!"

Peter scrambled off his bed, moving like lightning towards the door, but Sirius grabbed him and shoved him against the wall before James could do anything to stop him. "Listen, you little prat," Sirius snarled. His face was mere millimeters away from Peter's. "Dumbledore knows, and you are not going to tell your mum or your dad. Remus is Remus…you going to turn your back on him when he's the main reason why you haven't failed out of this school?"

"But…but…but…he's a WEREWOLF!" Peter blurted out as he started visibly sweating under Sirius' heated glare. 

"Yeah, and you're an fucking ass…I don't care if you personally don't like him, but if you tell anybody, and I mean ANYBODY about this, nothing will stop me from turning you into a mouse and handing you over to the Potions Master…and you know what Professor McManus does to mice, don't you?" Sirius waited for Peter to nod his head before continuing. "Remus is our friend, he's been there for us non-stop for the past two years, and the least we can do is to be there for him…I'm a right?"

"Y-yes…" Peter stuttered. 

"Sirius," James stepped in at that moment before Sirius could scare the poor boy anymore. "Let's go find Remus, shall we? All of us need to sit down and have a talk." Sirius nodded, giving Peter one last withering glare, before moving towards the door. 

The three boys walked down the stone staircase silently and made their way into the common room to find it empty other than two people sitting by the window. Sirius watched in mild amusement as James started fussing with his hair subconsciously. 

"So, how did it go?" Lily asked as she looked up at the three approaching boys. 

Sirius gave a sideways glance at James before answering, "Fairly well, I think." He couldn't help but snicker when he saw his old friend blush when Lily grinned at him. 

"So…all of you are alright about this?" Remus' soft voice had a sobering effect on all four of them. 

"Of course…I just wish you'd told us from the beginning," James frowned. 

"Would you have been this calm if I had, and you hadn't known me all that well?" Remus asked gently. 

James gave a half hearted shrug. "I guess we'll never know, will we?" 

"Did it really go as well as you're making it out?" Lily whispered to Sirius as she gently led them away from the other three. James and Remus were deep in conversation now, and Peter was fidgeting nervously, slightly away from all of them. 

"James took it well…actually he got more angry at me, and I think I'll have a bruise to prove it in a couple of hours," Sirius muttered as he rubbed his jaw again. "Peter, on the other hand…well, let's just say that he started to loose his mind…not that there's much to loose anyway…" 

Lily sighed as she watched James embrace Remus in a brotherly hug before grinning at him. She saw the hurt look in Remus' eye when Peter did the same, but pulled away quite more abruptly than James had. "Why am I not surprised about Peter?" she muttered to herself, forgetting that Sirius was next to her. 

"What d'you mean?"

"Oh..well…" she stuttered, not wanting to insult Sirius' friend. "He just…I don't know…he just…rubs me wrong…I can't explain it…I just don't get a very good feeling around him." 

"Yes, well…he's not exactly a Gryffindor is he? I still haven't figured out why the hat sorted him into this house…"

"Yes…I was starting to wonder the same thing…but I have a feeling that he'll surprise us in the end…" Lily's voice broke off into a sigh. 

Sirius turned to look at her. "Listen, Lily…I know that we haven't been the best of friends, but…"

"I know…I suppose that it's worth a try, isn't it? A friendship, I mean…"

Sirius flashed her his most charming grin before winking, "Absolutely."

"Will you do me a favor though?"

"Anything."

"Just don't ever say anything sexually vulgar to me in public again."

Sirius couldn't help but grin at the memory of their first meeting at the Gryffindor table. "Oh, but you looked so damn sexy when you blushed…"

***

__

Year Five, 1979

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

Gryffindor Tower, Boy's Dormitory

"No, no, absolutely not," Remus said as he continued to try to ignore his three friends. 

Well, it was more like ignore two of them, really. James and Sirius were the only ones bent on harassing him that night, it seemed. Peter was just sitting on his trunk with a mild expression on his face. That one never really got involved in anything. The only thing that Peter ever really DID was hero-worship James and Sirius. Well, more James than Sirius. It seemed like Peter was more afraid of Sirius than in awe of him. 

~Can't blame the poor bloke though,~ he thought with an inward smile. 

"Why not?!" Sirius demanded. 

"Yeah, why not?" James asked in a huff. 

"Because I don't feel like it, that's why," he sighed. 

He saw Sirius roll his eyes, and James throw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh, like THAT'S an acceptable excuse!" Sirius stopped pacing for a moment and made his way to stand right in front of Remus. 

Remus, in response, casually looked up at him with nothing but a calm, cool, collected expression on his face. "Can I help you with something?" he asked mildly. 

"GOD…! You are SO annoying!" 

Remus sighed and stood up to stretch his back. "Why are you so intent on making me go, anyway?" he asked seriously. 

"Well, my friend," James began as he slung his arm around Remus' shoulders, "you have, what they call, a permanent stick shoved up your ass when it comes to social issues…oh, you prank and tease with the best of us, but yet you still shy away from any SERIOUS social interaction…"

"Yeah, especially with the female population…minus Lily of course…but she's not exactly a normal GIRL, is she?" Sirius said with a grin that he knew would annoy the hell out of James. 

"Now why do you have to bring Lily into all of this?" James demanded as his face flushed with color. 

"Because you don't seem to be doing your job…moping about all the time. 'Oh, Lily is so pretty,' 'Lily is SO beautiful!' 'Lily is the light of my life!' 'I love you, Lily Evans!' 'Will you marry me, Lily of my heart?'" Sirius teased in an unbelievably bad falsetto voice. His grin grew when he saw that James' slight pink blush had intensified into a bright muggle fire engine red. "Aw…little Jimmy Wimmy is blushing…how cute. Maybe I'll just take a picture of you now and send it on over to Lily-kins?"

"I hate you," James muttered as he looked away. 

Sirius laughed heartedly and turned to see Peter giggling and Remus…well, he didn't look very happy at all, did he? "Hey, Moony, what's wrong now?" he demanded as he made his way over to stand in front of his friend.

"You know, I really don't like that nickname…You do realize that to moon someone is to expose your ass in public? It makes me sound like I'm some ass baring exhibitionist."

"And we all know your love of striping down to the only clothing that nature intended for you…SKIN!" Sirius grinned wickedly. 

"I hate you, Padfoot…"

"See! You call me by my given nickname!"

"Well, 'Padfoot' doesn't conjure up an image of a bare ass…"

"I think you've got a mighty fine ass, if you ask me…" Sirius teased.

"I truly do hate you, Padfoot," Remus muttered again as he turned away in hopes to hide the grin that he'd so desperately fought from growing on his face. 

"You know, that seems like that popular phrase of the day, doesn't it?" Sirius asked mock innocence. His grin disappeared as he suddenly grew serious again. "All kidding aside, Moony, why don't you want to go to the Halloween Ball?"

Remus sighed as he sat down on his trunk again. He leaned forward and rested his head in his hands as he whispered, "What girl would want to go with me?"

"BY GOD! Don't tell me you suffer from a lack of self confidence as well!" James said as he jumped up from his seat on his own trunk. "Listen, Moony, there are plenty of girls out there that would kill to go to the Ball with you…"

"But I'm a monster, James…"

"Listen, you're my friend, Remus," Sirius said as he stepped up in front of him and stood next to James, "and I'm saying this to you in the spirit of true brotherhood: if you EVER, and I mean EVER call yourself a monster again, I will…I will…Well, I don't know what I'll do to you just yet, but I assure you it won't be pleasant."

Remus looked at Sirius the way that only he could; a look made up of an annoying combination of sarcasm, disbelief, and smugness. "I'm a monster, I'm a monster, I'm a monster," he said mockingly. He leaned back with a satisfied smirk when Sirius huffed and started stomping back and forth across the room. 

"You know what he meant, Moony…you are NOT a monster," James said as he swallowed down his laughter. 

"Oh, every textbook and Ministry record out there will beg to differ on that point, dear Mr. Potter," Remus sighed; his light hearted mood once again ended by the ever present issue of his nature. 

"Yeh?" Sirius stormed back over to them. "Well who in BLOODY hell cares?!"

Remus had just about enough. As much as he loved his friends, the truth was, their naiveté could be down right annoying sometimes. "_I CARE_, Sirius. _I_ care…you may not care about the fact that I'm a werewolf, but 99% of the population out there does." Remus stood up and started pacing. When he looked over at the two other boys, both of them were opening their mouths to voice some sort of protest. "And don't!…Don't try to argue with me on that issue, because I've seen it. I've lived with it, for the past three years I've breathed it…"

"Remus, your Uncle doesn't know shit…all right? Whatever he says to you isn't true," James said calmly as he walked over to stand in front of him again. "It's not true, and he'll burn in hell for saying it too."

Remus shrugged James' hands off his shoulders. Sirius walked over and helped to corner him. "How can you believe the things he tells you, Moony?"

Remus raised his eyes to meet Sirius' piercing gaze and saw true pain in those blue eyes. He smiled sadly, "You get told something over and over again enough times, it becomes impossible for you not to believe."

"But we tell you the complete opposite all the time, Moony. Why don't you believe us?" Sirius demanded gently. 

"The bad things are always the easiest to believe…"

"Yeah, and you're never one to take the easy road," James said with a slight smile. The smile soon grew into a full fledged grin as he said, "So, you're going to the dance next week, and you are going with a date…" 

Remus threw up his hands in exasperation. "Oh, Jesus Christ of Latter Day's Saints…"

"Not exactly a 'yes,' but I'll take it," James said with a lopsided grin. 

"Good enough for me too," Sirius beamed. 

"Alright then, TO DINNER!"

"TO DINNER!"

***

__

"Well, I was wondering if you haven't already been asked…um…no, no, no, THAT'S not going to work. Okay, ummm…er…Lily, well…the thing is…I kinda like you…GOD, I'm such an idiot."

Not many things could scare Remus Lupin, but for some reason the mere thought of asking a girl to the Halloween Ball seemed like the most frightening thing in the world. How James and Sirius could do it so easily was beyond his understanding. 

"Okay," he repeated to himself as he took in a deep breath, "Lily…I was thinking…If you haven't got a date already, well, I was wondering if you'd give me the pleasure of being your date…Alright, that sounds good," he muttered again as he continued pacing. He nervously ran his hands through his hair before taking in another calming breath, rotating his shoulders in a light stretch, and jumping up and down to get rid of some nervous energy. "Okay, I'm going to do this…yes I am…Come on, Remus, you're a man, face this like one."

With one more deep breath he grabbed the simple white lily he'd found in a flower shop earlier that day in Hogsmead. He'd seen some of the other boys buying bouquets of beautiful roses to give to their dates, well, their date hopefuls, but he'd looked over and seen the lilies right off. This one had caught his eye; it was, for lack of a better word, perfect, and it didn't need a bouquet surrounding it to make it beautiful. For that reason, he'd asked the witch behind the counter in the shop just to tie a simple white ribbon around the stem. 

"Well, here goes," he mumbled quietly to himself as he started off towards the stairs leading to the girls' dorm. 

"So, Lily, have you found a date yet?"

His sensitive hearing picked up the conversation even before the girls had opened the door. It was Lily and Arabella Figg. "Yes, actually," Lily said brightly. Remus felt his heart drop at the words. "James just asked me this morning before we went into Hogsmead."

He blinked a few times in shock. ~Should have known this would happen,~ he thought bitterly. ~Of course James would ask her. He's liked her for a while now…and what are the chances of her ever choosing me over the Gryffindor Quiditch captain? Mr. James Potter?~ he thought sadly. 

The sound of the heavy wooden door opening shook him out of his trance, and he quickly just dropped the flower at the base of the stair case before hurrying off to the boy's dorm. He never got a chance to hear the conversation that took place after his frantic escape from what he viewed as humiliation. 

"Hey, Lily! Someone left you a flower." Arabella called out as she bent to pick up the white lily. 

"Really? Who's it from?" Lily's voice carried down from their room. 

"I don't know."

"Then how do you know it's for me?" 

Arabella rolled her eyes before calling back up, "Well, if you came down here to see for yourself, you'd realize why I know it's for you."

Without another word Lily put away the things she'd bought in Hogsmead and skipped downstairs. "Why, it's a lily," she said with a smile. 

"Really? I hadn't noticed," Arabella said sarcastically. 

Lily gave her a sideways glare. "I wonder who it's from."

"Maybe it's from James?" 

"No, he already gave me that bouquet of red roses upstairs…he wouldn't give me flowers twice in one day…this is from someone else…I wonder who," Lily mumbled as she studied her namesake. 

Arabella shrugged and studied the flower as well. "Well, whoever it was he's quite romantic isn't he?"

"Yes…he is."

Lily was about to run upstairs to put the flower in water when the portrait hole opened, admitting her three other roommates. "Oh! Lily! Just the girl we wanted to see…" 

"Well, hello, to you too, Meghan," Lily grinned as she looked at Meghan McDermott. Catherine Bell and Constance Howard were standing on either side of the girl. 

"Sorry," Meghan said with a blush. 

"So, why did you want to see me?" Lily asked as she sat down on one of the overstuffed armchairs. 

Meghan cleared her throat before starting, "Well, okay…you're friends with…"

The second she heard that opening phrase, she knew what this was about. "Sirius Black, yes…I'm friends with him…"

"No…not Sirius…besides he's got a date already…no, no…not him, with…"

"James Potter?" Lily guessed. 

"He's going with you…not him either…"

"Peter Pettigrew?" Lily asked, making a face.

"OH! NO! NO! God, Lily, how desperate do you think we ARE?" Catherine cringed. "No, this is about the only one left…" she finished sarcastically. 

"Who?" Lily asked confused. Her eyes grew wide as she realized, "REMUS?"

"After a thousand years, she finally get it," Constance said with a smirk. 

"What about Remus?" Lily asked, getting a bit protective. 

"You can't expect us to believe that with all the time you spend with the boy, you haven't noticed how beautiful he's become," Meghan said with a grin. 

"What? No…he's not…" Lily paused as she brought up a mental picture of her friend. ~By, GOD! He HAS grown up, hasn't he?~ she thought when she realized what he looked like now. 

Remus had grown a couple of inches, making his current standing at about 5'8", and he was still growing. Lily expected that he'd stand at about 6 feet by the time he was finished growing altogether. ~Funny, I always thought that Sirius would be the tall one,~ she thought with a smirk. He'd also grown into his face quite well. 

Before, when he was younger, his entire face basically consisted of eyes and mouth, making him the most adorable little boy. Now that he had a bit more flesh on him, he still held that boyish cuteness, but in a more mature way. He was quite sexy in his own right. Not like Sirius, with his dark hair and piercing blue eyes, but more like a soft, subtle, silent-strength type of sexy. 

His hair and overall build added to the appeal as well. He wasn't overly bulky, but he wasn't scrawny either. He was slim and toned with natural muscle. She assumed that the muscle tone carried over from his transformed state. ~Well, I guess lycanthrope has its perks. A very decent body without any of the work.~ His hair was naturally wavy, and fell just below his collarbone with bangs that always seemed to flop into his eyes. He usually dried it out straight and kept it tied back at the nape of his neck. ~You know, a lot of girls would kill for hair like his.~

"I can't believe it! You're friends with one of the sexiest boys in the school, and you're just NOW realizing it!" Constance sighed. 

"You really think he's sexy?" Lily asked as she looked at the three girls sitting in front of her. 

"Yes! He's not like Sirius, but he's got that, I don't know…brooding sexiness about him."

At the mention of Sirius, Lily couldn't help but feel a bit angry. "So…you're just asking about him because Sirius is not available, is that it?" 

She didn't know why, but she felt the overwhelming urge to smack the three girls sitting in front of her, jabbering on about this and that, and about why they thought Remus was so cute and the like. It was clear that Meghan, Constance, and Catherine were all just looking for the 'safety' now; the guy that would be a solid 'yes' no matter what. None of them would have given Remus one thought had Sirius been available. 

Even if they did think he was sexy, all they wanted from him was the way he looked. They didn't care about the fact that he was sweet, and funny, and caring, and intense…and…and…well, EVERYTHING. None of them cared about all that, they just cared about finding a date, and that could only lead to a hurt Remus. And a hurt Remus led to a not so happy Lily. 

"Lily?"

"What?" 

"Can you?" 

"Can I what?"

"Tell us if Remus has a date for the Halloween Ball already," Meghan stated with a sigh. 

Lily took a good long look at all three of them again before answering with a firm, "Yes."

"YES?!" three female voices rang out in unison. 

"WHO?!" Catherine demanded a moment later. 

"Why…er…" Lily's began to wander the room as she thought of a good answer, and her sight landed on Arabella. "Arabella!"

"WHAT?! Bella! You didn't tell me that he asked you!" Meghan huffed. 

Arabella looked back and forth between two angry faces, Lily and Meghan's. After brief consideration, she decided that dealing with a mad Meghan, Catherine, and Constance was a lot easier than dealing with an angry Lily. "Well," she began unsteadily, "he just asked me right before you three got in."

"Really?" Meghan asked, suspicion clear in her voice. 

"Er…yeah…he even gave me that lily!" Arabella pointed at the flower still clutched in Lily's hands. 

"Why would he give YOU the lily?" Constance asked with a smug look on her face. 

"Well, if you knew anything about Remus," Lily broke in, "which you obviously don't, you'd know that he has a very twisted sense of humor."

"Let's just drop this, shall we?" Catherine asked with a sigh. "We've still got another five days to find ourselves a suitable date. We'll see you two later!" 

Lily watched with a certain sense of satisfaction as Catherine dragged the other two girls out through the portrait hole. As soon as they were gone Arabella turned a glared at her. "What was THAT all about?!"

"What?! I didn't want them asking Remus to go! They weren't up to his standards…and knowing him he'd say 'yes' just to spare their feelings…that is, whoever got to him first…"

"You do realize that now, I'm really going to have to ask him to go, don't you? And there's no way in hell that he can say 'no' to me or else those three will find out that we lied to them about this," Arabella said with a sigh. 

"Yes, well…I think the boys got back from Hogsmead a little while ago…let's go up and see if they're there." Lily grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her up to the boys' dorm. "Are you all decent?!" she called as she cracked open the door a little bit. 

"Like you'd care!" Sirius' distinct voice rang out. 

"Yes, well, I wouldn't so much, but Bella might," Lily said as she walked in with a grin on her face. 

"Why hello, Arabella!" Sirius jumped up before grabbing her hand and swooping down in a graceful bow to kiss the top of it. Arabella, in turn, just rolled her eyes and snatched her hand back. 

"Where's Remus?" Lily asked. 

"I'm over here," came the muffled voice from behind the curtains that were drawn around his bed. 

"Remus? Arabella has a question she'd like to ask you," Lily said with a smile. 

Remus popped his head out of the curtains and looked up at the two of them. "What is it?" 

She wasn't sure, but Lily could swear that his voice sounded different for some reason, as if he was upset about something. It was the same overly calm tone of voice he got every day before the full moon when he fought for control of his emotions. 

"Well, okay…Remus…I was wondering, if you weren't…I mean…if you haven't found a…um…" Arabella blushed as she looked down at her feet. 

Remus' eyes grew wide when he realized what she was about to ask him, and he couldn't help but feel sorry for her. ~Lord knows I was struggling before…~ he thought. When Bella started twiddling with her hair, and babbling even more, he couldn't help but jump in and save her from the awkwardness. 

"Er…Bella?" he began, nervousness making his voice quiver slightly. 

Bella looked up with hopeful eyes. "Yes?" 

Remus cleared his voice and climbed out of his bed to stand before her. At his full height, he was a good couple of inches taller than her, even with her heeled boots on. "I was wondering if you'd give me the honor of escorting you to the Halloween Ball this Friday evening." 

Bella stared at him for a moment. She'd known that he was sweet, but the way he just asked her to the ball was something out of those old muggle fairytales her mother used to read to her when she was a little girl. "Sure." At first she didn't recognize her own voice; it was far off and dreamy, the way Catherine, Meghan, and Connie's voices got when they talked about boys. She hated it. 

Remus looked down at her and gave her a warm smile that made her insides feel all tingly and warm. It took her a moment to realize that she was probably blushing. All of a sudden she was quite grateful for Lily having put her in this situation. 

"James?" Lily's voice broke into Bella's little reverie. 

"What?" 

Bella watched as Lily turned towards her date with her hands resting on her hips and a pout on her face. "How come you didn't ask me like that?"

"Oh boy…"

***


	5. Test of Friendship

****

Author's Note: Sorry this one took so long! Such is the life of a college student…blah! Anyway, I skip a few years in this one…I know that can get somewhat annoying, but I know that it can get even MORE annoying if a story drags on for too long. So here it is! 

****

Disclaimer: See previous chapters…

~Chapter 5~

__

Summer of 1981

Lupin Manor

*CRACK* 

A shallow intake of breath could be heard as the whip made contact with human flesh. 

__

*CRACK* 

This time the sting of the whip was accompanied by a snarling voice. "What did you think you were doing? --luring Sebastian Snape's boy to that poor excuse for a holding cell? You thought it would be funny? You thought that it would make your so-called friends like you more?"

__

*CRACK* 

The whip hit again as the voice continued to swear at him, curse him, damn him. "What does a beast like you need with friends? NO ONE can love, let alone STAND, an abomination like you. Filthy, disgusting MONSTER!"

__

*CRACK* 

*CRACK* 

*CRACK* 

By now the once youthful looking back was no more than a mangled mess of blood and flesh. Usually Justin Wallace stayed as far away from his nephew as possible, hating the mere sight of him. The news of the "attack," however had changed his view on things. He decided that the monster's little trick deserved a lesson, and he assured Sebastian Snape that his son's near death encounter would not go unpunished. 

So, here he was, in the small, metal shack that he'd had built as soon as he'd moved in five years ago. Small, metal, SILVER shack. It drove the beast crazy. Even though his darling nephew had more control over his mental, emotional, and physical reactions to any and all situations than anybody he'd ever seen in his entire life, he knew that silver drove all werewolves crazy. It was his way of showing the monster who had the power. 

__

*CRACK* 

*CRACK* 

*CRACK* 

"Why my sister didn't put you down the moment you were changed is beyond me. I told her you'd be nothing but trouble, but she couldn't bear to watch her 'baby boy' die. If it weren't for the memory of my sister and her love for you, you'd have been dead the day after they were buried."

__

*CRACK* 

*CRACK* 

*CRACK* 

*CRACK* 

The words were nothing new. He'd heard them all before, just not like this. His uncle had never physically harmed him. The shock of it all was enough to numb him from the pain…the physical pain anyway. Mentally, he'd learned to tune out the words, to deal with the emotions that came along with actually understanding their meanings. Nine years of hearing hatred and disgust thrown at you would do that. 

So, he just laid there, on his stomach, letting his uncle beat him to his heart's content, never once questioning whether this was wrong, or dangerous. It hadn't even occurred to him that the full moon would be rising in thirty minutes. It hadn't occurred to him that the wolf would probably do a real number on himself considering the amount of pain the animal would be feeling with the wounds on his back, the discomfort and fear from the surrounding silver, and the rage of being denied his frie…freedom. 

No, none of that had occurred to him yet. All he could do was lay there, and wince with each…

__

*CRACK* 

…of the whip. 

It didn't cross his mind to be angry. He hadn't even once considered it an option. It never occurred to him that it wasn't fair, that it hadn't been his fault, his idea. Snape's near death experience hadn't been his doing. He knew it, he realized it somewhere in the back of his mind, but he couldn't help but rationalize it, to twist it so that all the blame came back to him. 

If he hadn't fought with James, if he hadn't said the things he'd said, if he hadn't accused Sirius…If, if, and more ifs. Sirius was right, it hadn't been any of his business. James and Lily were James and Lily, he, Remus Lupin, played no part in that relationship. He'd had no right to interfere the way he had. 

So, James was cheating on Lily, so what? It wasn't as if he had any part in the affair. He should have minded his own bloody business, turned his back on what was happening, like the others had. It wasn't as if he didn't have anything to keep him occupied. He had Arabella. But NO, BELLA had to be the one that pointed out that a TRUE friend would talk to James…for…for both their sakes; Lily's AND James'. 

So, he'd done what he knew, in his deepest of hearts, to be the "right" thing. 

__

"You FANCY her don't you?! That's the only reason why you're threatening him! You WANT the two of them to break it off so that you can have a go at it!" 

Sirius' accusations weren't wholly without base. Yes, he had loved Lily at one time. Yes, in a way he still did. And, yes, it hurt him to wonder: had he asked her to the Halloween Ball first, before James had, would he be in James' place right now? 

__

"What are you talking about, Padfoot? I'm not trying to do anything of the sort…I'm doing this as a true friend…to Lily, and to James."

Of course he'd denied it; what else could he have done without looking like a backstabbing bastard? And of course, Sirius being Sirius, took the words in the one way that Remus hadn't intended. The stupid git had taken it as a challenge, an accusation. 

__

"So you're saying that I'M not a good friend, is that it?! You're accusing me of not CARING about those two?! Who are YOU to accuse me of being a bad friend?!"

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not the one that's been dishonest before! You're ENTIRE life is based on a lie! And you have the gaul to preach to us about being honest? What kind of bloody friend are you? Not only did you lie to us about your lycanthrope, you hide the fact that you're in love with Lily every day…and DON'T deny it, I've seen the way you look at her…You want her for yourself, and THAT'S why you're doing this. It's not because of some need to do good, or to save their relationship, or to be fair to both of them…it's because you want a chance at what they have. Your own selfish desires…"

"Selfish desires? Are you questioning my loyalties?"

Of course Sirius would know what buttons to press. Both of them having, to a certain extent, canine blood flowing through them, the question of loyalty was a very sensitive matter. 

__

"Are you questioning mine?"

Oh, the tension in that room could have suffocated anyone. This conversation turned argument turned fight, was no longer between James and Remus, it was between the two canine members of the quartet. It was between Sirius and Remus, Padfoot and Moony. 

__

"And what if I am?"

That was definitely NOT the best thing to say, but it seemed right. Somehow, backing down hadn't seemed an option at all in the heat of the moment. In retrospect it didn't surprise him at all that Sirius reverted to physical violence after the challenge. 

Had he seen the fist coming he would have ducked, but there had been no time. Needless to say, in a matter of seconds, he'd found himself sprawled on the floor, rubbing his bruised jaw. Although it was quite uncomfortable, it had been exactly what he'd needed to wake him up from the blind fit of emotions he'd been in. 

__

"You always were better with your fist then with your brain, you know that, Black?"

He'd kept his voice perfectly calm as he got up and brushed himself off. He knew that there were many traits about him that drove Sirius up the wall, but his ability to remain calm in the most stressful of situations had to be the kicker. So, he remained calm, using Sirius' last name to address him, knowing full well that Sirius realized he did that only when he was especially cross with him. 

It shouldn't have surprised him at all that his friend had said nothing; just standing there with the flame of anger raging in his eyes. In retrospect, again, it didn't surprise him that Sirius stormed out of the room the way he had; all piss and wind like normal. But no matter what, he NEVER could have predicted what the boy had done next. 

Yes, he'd questioned Sirius' loyalty. No, he hadn't meant it. This was one of the only times in his life he'd said something he didn't mean. He knew that it would push his friend, and he did it, all the same. He just never would have imagined that it would get Sirius so angry that he'd try and make a murderer out of him. 

__

*CRACK*

*CRACK*

*CRACK*

The sound of his uncle's voice brought him back to reality. "Take a look at the sunset, Remus…" This had to be the only time his uncle had ever addressed him by his real name. Out of sheer shock, he obeyed. The two of them stared at the blood red sky for a few moments, and when Justin started to speak again, his voice was cold, cruel, and snarling. "This will be the last one you will see."

Remus watched as the man got up and left, shutting the door tightly and putting the locking spell in place. He had little time to consider the man's cryptic words before the change started taking place, but through the blinding pain, and quite possibly due to it, he realized that his uncle didn't mean to open the doors again, at least not while he was alive. 

***

James Potter stood at his drawing room window and watched as the sun set, slowly. It had been two full days since the transformation, and still there was no word from his friend. For four summers now a system had been formed: for the three full moons that Remus had to endure alone, he'd write each one of his friends immediately afterwards, telling them that all was well, and that he was indeed alive. The last bit there was due to the presence of his uncle. 

Justin Wallace. 

An involuntary shudder ran through his body when he recollected some of the things his parents had told him about the man. He was, for lack of a better word, cruel and flat out inhumane to any and all dark creatures. Of course his own parents had been a bit shocked that a werewolf would be allowed into Hogwarts, but after having been reminded of the gentle and sweet countenance that Remus possessed all doubts and fears of their son's safety were put to rest. 

In fact the Potters were downright fond of Remus. They went the extra mile of inviting him over to their house as often as they could over the summer, but Remus being Remus, would often decline the invitation, saying that he didn't want to be a burden on them. 

A grin spread on his face as he thought of the system the Potters and Blacks had come up with. Every summer at least one of the families would stay at home to make sure that all was right at Lupin Manor. This year it was the Black's turn, but due to recent events James' parents, and James himself, had thought it best to stay at home. 

"James! Sweetheart! Come and have dinner!" He gave one last worried look at the setting sun before walking over to the dining room. "James," his mother continued as he took a seat at the table, "if you're that worried about him, why don't you pop on over and give him a ring? Tell that uncle of his that you were in the neighborhood, and decided to stop by for a visit? Maybe bring him over afterwards so that we can tend to his…injuries…"

James had no time to reply. In a flash of blue smoke a small house elf appeared, floating in front of the Potters. "Mindy?" James had met her once, but he would recognize the little creature anywhere. "What are you doing here?"

"James Potter must excuse Mindy…Mindy didn't mean to interrupt Mr. Potter from eating…"

"No, it's alright, Mindy. What's the matter? Is there something wrong with Remus?" James' concern grew ten fold when the small elf burst out into tears. 

"Master Wallace will not let young Master Lupin out of the silver room!" she wailed as the tears started to form a small puddle in the middle of the Potter's table. 

"What?!" James' father jumped up at the mention of a silver room. "Mindy, what do you mean?"

When it was clear that the elf was in no condition to speak just yet James' mother stood up and took her by the hand and led her to a seat in front of all three of them. "Now, Mindy, please calm down and tell us what happened," Lorna Potter said in a soothing voice. 

They all waited patiently as Mindy calmed herself. ~She has got to be one of the most level headed house elves I have ever met,~ James thought with a smile. ~Well, like Master, like Elf.~

"After Master Lupin died, Master Wallace built a silver room to put young Master Lupin in when he…" she hesitated for a moment, fearing the mere words. 

"Yes, Mindy…we understand…but are you sure it's SILVER? How do you know?" Joseph Potter demanded. 

"Oh! Mindy is sure, Mr. Potter! Mindy is VERY sure! Young Master Lupin does no go near it on any other day! Master Lupin is AFRAID of it!"

Lorna leaned back in her chair as the detail settled in. "SILVER? James, did you…?"

"NO!" James jumped up from his seat and started pacing angrily. "No, he never once mentioned it!…Damn it, Remus, you stupid git!" 

"Oh, Mr. Potter must not be mad with Master Lupin! Oh! This is all MINDY'S FAULT!" They watched in horror as the small thing began bashing her head against the wall. 

"Min-Mindy! Stop it!" Joseph grabbed hold of her and set her down on the chair again. "Now, tell me what do you mean by Wallace not letting Remus out?"

"He WON'T! The day after…Mindy asked when Master Wallace was going to let Master Lupin out so Mindy could take care of him. He told Mindy that he wasn't going to!" she wailed as the waterworks started up again. 

"WHAT?!" all three Potters jumped up immediately. 

"James, go call a healer…if they refuse, call on Madame Pomfrey, GO!"

James ran to the fireplace immediately after his parents vanished with a "POP!" He knew that it would be no use in trying to call on a normal healer to deal with a werewolf, so he skipped right to Madame Pomfrey. It took a while to find her, but when he did and had explained the situation to her, she told him that she'd be there as soon as possible. 

It seemed only natural to call on Lily and Peter to let them know what had happened, and soon after he found himself pacing the his family's drawing room with Lily by his side, Madame Pomfrey sitting by the fire waiting, and Peter nervously chewing his bottom lip. 

"You didn't call Sirius?" Lily asked gently, knowing that this was still a very sensitive issue. A simple, mumbled, "no" was her only answer. "You know," she started again after taking a deep breath to calm her nerves, "he does have a right to know, Jim…"

"No, he doesn't." James' blue eyes were jumping with a flame that Lily had never seen before. "He lost all right whatsoever the minute he did what he did."

Lily sighed as her shoulders slumped in defeat. "You know he didn't mean it, James…you, above all, know Sirius…he never thinks things through…"

"Yeah, well, maybe he should have thought this one time before he went ahead and told Snape about the Whomping Willow…"

Anything more that Lily could have said was silenced at the sound of people apparating. The entire party leapt up at once and ran to the corridor. "Oh my God," was all any of them could say as they stared at Joseph Potter holding a bloody, beaten, and barely breathing Remus in his arms. 

"POPPY! We need your help!" Joseph yelled as he carried the boy into one of the guest rooms. 

Madame Pomfrey shook herself out of her shock and mentally prepared herself for what she was about to see. "Why don't you three stay here? The last thing I need is for you to get in the way." 

The three teens stood there and watched her hurry down the hall after the elder Potters. "James, Sirius NEEDS to know," Lily whispered as the three of them made their way back to the drawing room. 

Mutely, James just nodded before heading over to the fireplace. He threw a handful of Floo Powder into the jumping flames before stepping inside. "Netherfield Manor," he called out clearly. A few moments later he found himself stumbling out of the Blacks' main fireplace. 

"James, what brings you here?" Elizabeth Black asked with a pleasant smile. It soon disappeared when she saw the look on his face. "What's happened, James?"

"It's Remus…He…His uncle…"

He didn't need to say the words for the Blacks to understand what he was trying to say. "Is he alright?" Edmund Black demanded as the two aurors shot up and grabbed their cloaks and wands. 

James just shook his head grimly. "Sirius has gone out for a walk…I know that you haven't been on the best of terms with him, but would you mind waiting for him and…" Elizabeth asked gently. 

"Sure."

"Thank you."

After about thirty minutes of pacing back and forth, from window to window, it was clear that Sirius wasn't planning on coming back any time soon. So, James did the only thing that came to mind: he left a note. 

When he stumbled back out of his fireplace he found that Lily and Peter were still sitting where he'd last left them. "So, where is he?" Lily asked as she jumped up and hugged him. 

"I was going stir crazy waiting for him, so I left him a note. Told him to come over as soon as he could…Is there any word on Moony yet?"

Lily shook her head. "The Blacks left for their offices, said something about trying to find something to get Justin Wallace sent away to Azkaban or something like that…They said that the child abuse charge wouldn't work because of the fact that Remus is a werewolf…"

"Bloody HELL! So you're telling me that, that man could get away with murder?!" James started pacing angrily again. He sighed and slumped into a chair. "It's just not fair, is it?" he mumbled as he looked up at his girlfriend and his fellow Marauder. 

Lily gave him a weak smile as she took a seat next to him. "No, it's not…" she whispered as she started to rub his back soothingly. She heard him sigh as he leaned his head on her shoulder. 

"I don't want to loose him," James whimpered. 

Lily sniffled back the tears that were starting to form. "We won't," she stated firmly. "We won't."

***

The fact that his mother wasn't there to give him a death look the moment he stepped into the house should have been the first sign that something was off. The fact that his father wasn't going on about loyalty, friendship, and anger management should have been the second sign. But of course being as thick headed as he was, the realization that something was terribly wrong didn't hit him until he saw the small note sitting on the dining table with his name in James' untidy handwriting scrawled across the front. 

For a moment he just stood there, staring at it, as if it would jump out and attack him at any moment, and then he couldn't help but feel a certain sense of dread growing within the pits of his stomach. At the end of the summer James had made it quite clear that he was to have nothing to do with him until school started. 

__

"I need to have some time away from you, Sirius. I really don't want to deal with you until I absolutely have to…so, stay away from me…and from Remus…" 

Never in his life had he believed that he'd ever hear those words coming from James. He'd lost two good friends in one night. TWO. Not only James, but Remus as well. 

GOD! 

Why was he SUCH an idiot?! Why couldn't he just THINK every once in a while? He shuddered at the thought of what would have happened had James not seen Snape enter the Whomping Willow. Snape would be dead…which wasn't too bad…but REMUS…Remus would have been executed. His best friend could have been killed for something that he, Sirius Black, had done. Even if he was innocent, the Ministry wouldn't have cared, they'd have just taken the opportunity to rid the world of another "Dark Creature." 

The Minister of Magic had been stern faced, but he'd seen the hidden delight in the man's eyes. Justin Wallace was outwardly pleased at ridding himself of his burden. Dumbledore had called him into his office after the whole incident, and given him a stern speech about why it had been wrong and the normal teacher talk. McGonagall had said the same exact thing, just louder. His parents had yelled at him, his mother sent him a howler, his father grounded him for…basically the rest of his life. James had shunned him, Peter had followed, Lily glared at him at every opportunity, but had eventually softened up when she'd seen his misery, and Remus…

Well, Remus hadn't really done anything. He'd become more secluded since it happened, like he'd been at the beginning of their first year. The look of him, though, the moment after the whole ruckus, was still burned into his memory. There was no anger, no spite, no bitterness. There wasn't even any fear or mistrust. It was just emptiness. Remus' usually expressive face had been, for once, completely passive and blank. It'd been…unnerving at the very least to see sweet, kind, gentle Remus look so empty…so…broken. 

Why?

Why was it that no matter what he did, it was always Remus. Always. It never failed: he'd do something stupid, and Remus would always suffer for it. In most cases it was stupid things, like getting detention. But the biggest mistakes he'd made always resulted in a very hurt Moony. Their second year when he'd gotten scared and talked James and Peter into not being Remus' friends anymore because of the boy's lycanthrope. That had been his biggest mistake up until that point, and for another four years afterwards. Then this had to happen. He had to be stupid again. He had to let his temper get the best of him. 

Yes, Remus had pushed his buttons a bit too hard this time. Yes, it'd pissed him off that Remus was right about what a true friend would do. Yes, he hadn't been in the mood to deal with Snape at that moment in time. Yes, he'd been perfectly "sane" when he'd told the greasy git how to get past the Whomping Willow. And yes…he'd seen some sort of sick, twisted logic in what he'd done. 

Remus had insulted him, hurt him by challenging his position as James' right hand man. In animal form, in the pack of Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs, Moony was leader. Moony outranked Padfoot. But in James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, Sirius was the one that outranked Remus. He'd broken that bond of loyalty there: the one that existed between Remus and Sirius, Moony and Padfoot. The bond that stated neither of them would ever challenge each other in that way. 

Remus had done that, and it'd angered him. Hurt and angered him, and like most other times in his life, he'd acted out of pure enraged passion, rather than logic. And of course, like most other times, it had led him to nothing but trouble. He'd lost all his good friends because of one STUPID mistake. He'd lost the trust of his best friend of 16 years because of his quick temper. James hadn't talked to or made contact with him once within the last two months other than to tell him to stay away, and yet, here it was: the letter. 

It was about Remus, he knew it; he could feel it. Something wasn't right with his packmate, his friend. He wasn't honestly expecting the usual letter from Remus, but he'd hoped that, maybe, his friend would send him one anyway. The full moon had been three days ago, and there was no letter from Moony. Instead here was this letter from James, written quickly, from the looks of it, and there was no doubt in his mind that it pertained to Moony. 

With a shaking hand he reached out cautiously, picked it up, and started reading:

Dear Padfoot,

I know that we haven't been on the best of terms since…well…since…you know when…but…something's happened…to Moony. I can't explain right now, but come over as soon as you get this letter. 

Sirius…it doesn't look good at all. Just hurry.

-Prongs

Without another thought, he jumped up, grabbed his wand and sprinted to his family's fireplace. "Pemberley Manor!" Within a few seconds he saw the Potter's living room materialize in front of him. Up until then, he'd acted out of pure passion, but as reason returned to him, he started wondering if he should just turn back. 

"Sirius?" 

~Too late,~ he thought to himself as he turned to see Lily standing before him. 

"You were going to leave, weren't you?" she asked gently as she pulled him out of the fireplace. 

All he could do was give a weak nod while he awkwardly looked around the familiar, yet foreign room. It seemed forever since he'd been there. It had been forever since he'd been there. "How…how is he?" He didn't even realize he'd asked the question until Lily started speaking to him. 

"Madame Pomfrey says that he should be alright…barring all complications that is…" Lily stopped walking and turned to look at him. Her eyes sparkled with the tears she was trying to told hold back, and he knew that his own eyes were a mirror image of them, only in blue. "I know…I know that we haven't…I haven't been the best friend that I could have been, Sirius. I know that it must have been horrible for you these past few months, but you have to see what…" 

"Lily, if I hadn't been the one that did it, I probably would have killed the bloke that did do it to Remus…I don't blame you or the others…for any of it."

Lily gave him a tearful smile. "You're a very, very decent man, Sirius; a very good man…despite what anybody says. Never forget I told you that." 

"I'll remember it always…" 

The two of them quieted down as they neared the room where Remus was staying in. "Jim's in there now…and so's Peter. I think that maybe the Marauders should have little chat?" Lily pushed with a small smile. Her smile grew into a grin when she saw Sirius' eyes widen in shock. "Oh don't give me that look. I've known about the lot of you for years…" Sirius just stared at her for another moment before giving a slight shrug, popping into his Animagus form, and trotting off into the bedroom. "Okay, THAT I didn't know…" She took one last look at her friend before turning to walk away.

After watching Lily walk off, Padfoot cautiously nuzzled the door open to find the room empty. ~I guess Lily was wrong,~ he thought to himself as he quietly padded inside to take a look. The first thing he noticed was the coppery scent of blood in the air mixed with about a dozen different potions. ~God, Moony, what did he do to you?~ With a whimper he bounded the rest of the way to the bed and came to a stop where Remus' hand rested. 

A whine escaped him as he nuzzled the hand with his wet nose, and without a second thought he jumped onto the bed next to his fallen pack mate. Gently he snuggled up next to Remus, offering him some extra warmth and comfort, and worked it so that the boy's hand was resting on the scruff of his neck. It wasn't much, and given the fact that he usually found himself in a state of verbal constipation when admitting he was wrong, this was the best that he could do by ways of an apology. Now all he could do was hope that Moony and Remus accepted it. 


	6. Trust, Faith, and Second Chances

~Chapter 6~

__

~*September 1, 1999*~

Seventeen years ago he'd said goodbye to this place for what he thought was the last time. Thirteen years ago he'd believed he'd had a reason to return someday. Twelve years ago he'd lost everything, and all this place served as was a reminder to him, a reminder of days past. A reminder of a youth filled with hope and faith, of years spent arrogantly believing that he was special, that he was loved, that he had a family.

Ten years ago he'd believed that he would never be able to set foot here without feeling the familiar flame of anger dancing through his very veins. Five years ago he'd believed he would never be able to remember this place without feeling the sting of tears and the bone crushing sorrow of loss. One year ago, he never would have thought he'd be back here today. 

But, then again, life always did have a way of proving him wrong. 

"He's escaped. Harry needs protection. The DADA position is open. Be on the train with him just in case." 

No "please." No "Hello, Remus, how have you been?" No "I'm sorry to tell you this, but your best friend turned traitor and psychopathic murderer has escaped from the one place that everyone thought to be the most secured stronghold in the world in all of history and is now hunting the one remaining memory and legacy of your other best friend whom the above mentioned betrayed and killed." 

Would that have been so hard for the old man to write? Surely the old coot could pick up a quill for longer than it took to write the letter that he'd received that morning three weeks ago. But then again, he was Dumbledore. What else could you honestly expect? The man wasn't exactly known as one for many words. Besides, no matter what, he couldn't say "no" to the headmaster. 

Why?

Well, because, for as much as he moped and groaned about wishing none of it had ever happened, he knew deep down he treasured those years that he'd spent within the walls of Hogwarts. All of the happy memories he had, he owed to the aging headmaster. 

So, like a good little werewolf, he packed and made his way here, to Kings Cross Station in London on September the 1st, 1999, as instructed. And now that he was standing here, he wished he could be home in his bed, away from all of this. He didn't want to remember. He didn't want to think of the implications of Dumbledore's letter. 

Sure, the DADA position would be easy. Even the protecting Harry part would be easy. But the question was: when the time came, could he turn Sirius Black over? Could he send Padfoot back to a fate worse than death? Twelve years ago he would have said yes. But time had passed since then, and he'd grown up from the hot headed, ill tempered, angry at the world young werewolf, into the weary old man that had lost all faith in the world and accepted his fate to live a life in solitude and then to die alone. 

Now, he wasn't so sure anymore. He wasn't so sure if he could give up his last link to the past. He wasn't sure if he wanted to give it up.

Stretching out cramped muscles, he stood, took one last look around and climbed the familiar stairs of the Hogwarts Express. It shouldn't have surprised him at all that his feet carried him to the Marauders' old compartment towards the back of the train, but it was still a shock when he realized where he was. Images of a young James, Sirius, and Peter materialized in front of him as he stood in the doorway. Memories that he'd buried emerged, not completely unwelcome, but uncomfortable. He fancied that if he concentrated hard enough he could actually hear James' laughter, he could see the boy that would grow to be the legend. 

But that's when he saw them: a pair of green eyes as pure and beautiful as the most flawless of emeralds hidden behind a pair of owl-like glasses. A pair of green eyes that held the same compassion and warmth as the ones that would gaze upon him when he'd wake up after a particularly hard full moon. A pair of green eyes that were exactly like Lily's. 

So, this was Harold James Potter: James and Lily's son, the boy that he'd been called to protect.

He couldn't help but smile. By God he'd grown. But then again, it had been twelve years, hadn't it? And babies did have a tendency of growing up. Never in his life would he have expected for the boy to look that much like James, to sound that much like James. His friend would have been so proud of his son. Both of his friends would have been proud to see the boy like this. 

And Harry? 

He would have been equally as proud to have parents like James and Lily. Part of him wondered if the boy even knew about them. Had Petunia told the boy about the girl his mother had been? About how beautiful she was? How utterly enchanting she could be? Had she told him about the boy his father had been? How he could charm the frown off of even McGonagall herself when he wanted to? 

Had Petunia told him the story about the man and his loyal wife? –how they'd both given their lives so that their son could live in a world without fear? 

Had she even mentioned them to the boy? 

He couldn't help but wonder...and he couldn't help but grieve when he realized that the most probable answer was: No. It hurt to think about the things that Harry must have gone through. At least he knew who his parents were. At least he'd known who Amanda and Perseus Lupin were. At least he'd had siblings, and known them. At least he'd had the opportunity to create memories of his own. 

Harry, for whatever reason, had never been granted that opportunity. Fate had deemed him unworthy of that chance, and in this case, "fate" had been Sirius Black. 

"Not this time, Sirius," he whispered as he shook himself out of his reverie. "You will not touch him again...Never again.

***

__

St. Mungo's Hospital

Waiting Room

~*July 1986*~ 

"Prongs, would you stop pacing?! You're making me dizzy!" 

James Potter turned and glared at his tawny haired friend. "I'd like to see how calm you'd be if you were in my situation! My WIFE is in there...having MY son...and I have absolutely no bloody fucking clue what's going on!"

Remus just leaned back in his seat and stared up at the newly made Ministry Auror. "You know," he started slyly, "you could always go in there...it's not like men aren't allowed in the delivery room..."

"WHAT?! NO! No...that's Lily's area...I wouldn't want to intrude...besides," James said, swallowing hard, "I don't think I'd be able to handle seeing something as big as a head coming out of..."

"ENOUGH! I don't want to hear it, Prongs! Ugh."

Both men looked at each other, shuddered, looked at each other again, and then started laughing. "God, Moony, how did it come to this?" James asked as he wiped the corner of his eye. "It seems like just yesterday we were running around Hogwarts, planning our next big prank. Now? Now...God...It's...I mean...the mere NOTION that I, James Potter, am responsible for the proper upbringing of another human being...it's, well, it's preposterous! I can barely take care of myself, Moony! What am I gonna do? What if I'm a complete and utter failure at being a dad?" The only thing that stopped James from continuing was the presence of Remus' hand covering the 21 year old's mouth. Remus saw something in his friend's eyes, that he couldn't exactly identify, but he let it pass as longing for times past, for things to stay the way they had been a couple of years ago. 

"Listen to me, Jim. You are going to be an excellent father. The fact that you're worrying about it is proof enough. Everyone has doubts about things like this. I'd be worried about you if you were totally confident. Harold James Potter will count himself blessed for having a father like you, and a mother like Lily. Love will guide you, Jim, that's all you need. Not medical or parenting books, just your heart and your love for your son."

"I think...I know that it was you that was meant to be the father first, Moony." James paused at Remus' snort of disbelief. "I mean it. I think you'd make a good father. I mean, you always took care of the three of us, Lily, and Bella...Always making sure that Peter studied for his tests, that Padfoot ate all of his vegetables, that Lily always remembered to write her parents...whenever Bella started losing confidence in herself, you were the one that noticed and did something about it...and you always took care of me, kept me grounded when Sirius' playfulness would have me leaping into things before thinking things through..."

"I think you give me too much credit, Prongs, way too much cre..."

"No, Remus, I mean it. I don't know where I'd be without you." James grabbed onto Remus' shoulders, forcing the younger man to look at him. "Remus, I know...I know that Lily and my decision to name Sirius as Harry's godfather hurt you..."

Remus started to shake his head at that. "No, James. You made the right decision. You've known Sirius for longer. The man loves Harry more than anything, and the boy isn't even born yet. You definitely chose the better man."

James' eyes grew sad, and for a moment Remus wondered what he'd said. "Sirius definitely loves my son, Remus...but he's not meant to be a father; he's too much of a child himself. Padfoot will forever be a child at heart. I'm not being mean, it's the truth, Moony, so don't shake your head at that. It's his nature. Lily wanted to name you as Harry's godfather, his legal guardian, and so did I...but the bloody Ministry and it's stupid bloody rules..."

"James, it's all right. Sirius will be a much better godfather than I ever could. He loves Harry a little too much to fail at that."

James, being a little too weary to argue with his friend, just nodded. "Moony..." he hesitated a moment, not really knowing whether or not to tell his friend what he'd seen in the tea leaves. The only reason he'd even considered it was the fact that he knew Remus' own sister had been a true seer, and so the young man wasn't skeptical about the study of divinations, like most people of the wizarding world. That was why Remus had been the only one he'd told about his gift of the Sight, why Moony had been the only one he trusted not to laugh. 

His gift hadn't developed until after Remus' sister had died, so he couldn't go to her for advice, but Remus had told him the story of her last vision before her death. For a while, he'd wondered why Athena Lupin hadn't done anything with her knowledge of the future. In fact, he'd been deeply angered by the fact that she'd let herself and her family get killed, leaving his friend to face a cruel and unforgiving world all on his own. But now...now that he knew what it felt like to hold the knowledge of the future, he realized that the woman had made the right decision...a very difficult and painful decision, but the right one. 

If anyone understood his situation, it would be Moony. "Moony, with the way this war is going, and the violence, and my job and Lily's job...well...I have a feeling that things aren't going to end well..."

"You've foreseen something?" James was silent for a moment too long for there to be any doubt. "Don't lie to me, Prongs. What did you see?"

"Nothing in detail." It was a lie, and both of them knew it, but thankfully, Remus was willing to let it slide. "I only have this feeling that I won't live to see better days..."

"Lily?" Remus asked with a sinking feeling. His throat having closed up from emotion, James didn't trust himself to speak. So, he just shook his head. "No, James, no...No, you've seen something, you need to do something about it, Prongs. Don't...don't do to Harry what Athena did to me. He will not thank you for it! Harry needs his parents! Not, Sirius, or me, or Bella! He needs YOU! Don't do..."

"Do you think this is easy for me?!" Not being able to hold back the tears of fear and despair anymore, James let them fall without shame. "Do you really think that I want to die?! I don't, Remus, I don't! I want to be there for Harry's first day of school, for his first date! I want to be the one who shows him how to shave for the first time! I want to be there to tell him how proud I am on his graduation day...But there's nothing I can do about it!"

"Yes there is, you stupid ass! It's called the GIFT of Sight for a reason! You can do something about!" Remus Lupin wasn't known for his calm for no reason; he hardly ever lost his temper, and he never yelled, let alone screamed. So his exclamation left a dead silence in its wake. When he was calm enough to continue, he did so with his usual calm. "You've been given this chance to change things so that it doesn't have to be this way."

"Mine and Lily's deaths will mark the fall of Voldemort, Remus. Mine will be the first, setting off a chain reaction, then Lily's will follow soon after, and somehow, Harry will be the one to bring him down..."

"You're talking about an attack on your family...when? How?"

"I don't know when, Remus, and that's the truth...I told Dumbledore, and he wants us to go into hiding as soon as we can, but I don't think it's going to do any good, Moony...I saw that vision for a reason. The course of time is counting on that to happen. I didn't see it so that I can change it, I was meant to see it so I that I can make amends..."

"Does Lily know?"

James sat down next his friend with a heavy sigh. "No...and I think it'd be best if it stays that way...I know she has a right to know, Moony, so don't lecture me about that. It's just...she's so scared right now, Remus. She hides it, but she's scared, and I don't want to add to that. With Harry in her life now, she can at least be a little happy during the time that is left...Promise...swear to me that you'll look out for them, Moony...swear that you'll make sure Sirius isn't too lenient with Harry, and that Bella doesn't spoil him too much. Promise..."

"I swear it, James. I will take care of them. I will guard them with my life..."

"Take care of yourself as well, Moony...You don't need anyone to look after you too much, but you tend to forget sometimes that you need help as well..."

"It was always you who took care of me, Prongs...If I was the one who kept you grounded, then you were the one who taught me to dream a little."

"Well, you know, there is a Prongs Jr. now...perhaps he'll fill his dad's shoes..."

He stared at the photo of himself and James that had been taken at the Marauder's joint graduation party. The two of them looked truly happy despite the war that was raging outside. He couldn't help but wish for his friend. He couldn't help but be a bit selfish and wish that Prongs and Lily had been at his side through the past twelve years, but the logical side of him reminded him that had Prongs and Lily not sacrificed themselves, the war probably would have ended with the dark side as the victors. 

He glanced at the seat across from him, vacated only recently by Harry. "You have no idea how much he resembles you, Prongs...and not just in looks either. He's got your heart...I look at him sometimes, and feel as if I'm thirteen again. He reminds me of just how much I miss you and Lily..." He gazed down at the picture James, waving with a big dopey grin on his face. 

"I haven't told him about the Marauders yet, but I will as soon as the year is over. For some reason I don't think Severus will tolerate my presence here for any longer than that. It just doesn't feel right to tell him about all the stunts we pulled while being his professor. Perhaps after I leave, I'll tell him the spell we used to create the map...hell...maybe I'll just make him another copy of it...or break into Filch's office and steal it. I am a Professor now, after all, he can't question my authority about stuff like that. By God, I'm speaking to a picture...that's never a good sign...But I do miss you, Prongs...and Padfoot in a way...He wasn't always like this; there had been a time when he was loyal to us...all of us...

Well, there's really nothing I can do about it now, is there? I will protect Harry though, James. I promised you before when he was born, and I'm renewing the promise now. By my life or death, if I can protect him I will, you can trust me on that...it's just...a part of me can't help but think that there's been a mistake...with Padfoot, I mean...something about it just doesn't sit well with me. Perhaps when he's captured, I'll be able to talk to him. Perhaps I'll get some answers..."

***

Images of four young boys danced before him, each one of them the embodiment of youth itself. Where had it gone? Had it truly been that long since he'd laughed like the little boy before him? Had that really been him? So happy? So youthful? So carefree? How was it that he could remember so much from picking up one simple scent lingering in the air? 

Moony.

Remus was near...in the forest somewhere. Only this time he wasn't playing a carefree game of hide and seek in the dark. This time his discovery wouldn't bring about a chorus of boyish giggles and a playful match of wrestling. Sirius Black may be considered mad, but he wasn't so mad as to think that all would be well with his school and classmate. This time Remus was hunting him, and he would fight with intensity and passion as any dog would when protecting his beloved owner. He would do anything to protect the one remaining memory of his friends. He would die for the boy, just as James and Lily had. If only he realized that Sirius would do the same. 

"I really don't understand why the headmaster even bothers to send you out on these patrols, Lupin. Given your past history with the murderer, you're, in all probability, aiding him." Padfoot's ears perked up at the familiar sneering voice.

Even twelve years couldn't quench the flame of hate that danced in Severus Snape's heart. In school Sirius never truly understood how Moony could stand the greasy git. It wasn't as if the long nosed bastard didn't ask for half the things the marauders had done to him. More than half, if you really analyzed the situations. He never understood how Lupin could sit quietly through the taunting and the hateful words, especially after what had happened their sixth year. 

But he did, and just like in his school days, Remus Lupin calmly turned to regard his peer and said quite simply, "Sirius Black is no friend of mine, Severus."

Snape snorted. "Do you really expect me to believe that, Lupin?"

"Yes, Severus, I do. Sirius stopped being a friend when he turned on James and Lily."

For a moment brown eyes stared into hazel, and hazel stared right back. For a moment it seemed as if Snape and Lupin came to an understanding. But like most good things that came to Severus Snape, the moment ended with a quick shake of the head, and a snarled comment. "You're good, Lupin. You almost had me fooled there."

An exasperated sigh. "I truly don't know what else you want from me, Severus. No matter what I say, you don't believe it. Why are you so bitter?"

Sirius had to make a point to remind himself that he wasn't back at school, that he couldn't just jump out and come to Remus' rescue. But the look in Snape's eyes scared him. Never in his life had he seen such hate radiating out from one person. "You want to know why I'm so bitter, Lupin? I'll tell you...You and Black tried to kill me just so you could have a good laugh, that's why!"

"I didn't try to kill you, Severus. I had no part in what happened that night. Sirius told you how to get past the whomping willow because he was angry at me, because he knew that the one thing I feared more than anything in the world was to spread my disease to someone else..."

"Oh really?! Then why is it that you were so quick to forgive Black about it? Hmmm? If what you say is true, it means that Black betrayed you to the first jackass to cross him, and this is definitely not a betrayal to be taken lightly. You had other friends, you didn't need him. In fact Potter, Evans, and that little sniveling tack on of a friend Pittegrew were perfectly wiling to cut off all ties to him if you'd given them the word..."

"A life without friends is not worth living, Severus. You had your friends growing up, tell me, what would it have done to you if you'd lost every last one of them because of a stupid mistake you'd made?" 

Snape was completely silent for a moment, considering what Remus had asked him. "If the person were truly my friend, I wouldn't have betrayed them in the first place. Let's for one moment pretend that I believe you...If what I hear is correct, you forgave him because you wished to spare him an empty life?"

"Simply put? Yes, Severus."

"And yet he ended up turning on all of you. A great deal of good came from your faith in him, didn't it?" Snape muttered sarcastically. 

Sirius watched with growing anger as Remus' eyes turned sad. "Yes, well...that is definitely not a decision that I regret, Severus...You forget that Sirius wasn't always the man that he is now...I believe that at one point in his life, he loved us...more than anything."

Snape snorted, his disbelief very evident. "Well, he's got a very interesting way of showing his love, doesn't he?" There was a pause and for a second, Sirius thought the conversation was over. "Seriously, Lupin...why did you forgive him so quickly?"

Padfoot's ears perked up. In all of his years, he'd never truly figured out the answer either. He was thankful for it, but Remus' forgiveness had been too easily given. 

"Trust, faith, and second chances, Severus, that is what friendship...what TRUE friendship, is made of. If you've never had a friendship like that, I pity you."

"I don't need, nor do I want your pity, Lupin," Snape sneered before stalking off. 

Remus stayed behind for a moment, gazing out into the Forbidden Forest, and for a moment, Sirius felt as if Remus had seen him. In fact, he knew that Remus had seen him, the recognition in the hazel eyes couldn't be denied. So, he waited, to see what his old friend would do. The stare lasted for another second or so before Remus turned, effectively breaking it, and walked off back towards the castle. 

Sirius didn't know whether to breathe a sigh of relief or to cry in frustration. _"Trust, faith, and second chances, Severus, that is what friendship is made of..." _He was sure he'd used up all of his second chances, but perhaps Remus would find it in his heart to forgive him one more time. If he could only explain to Remus what had happened that night, then maybe...just maybe he'd have a shot at forgiveness?

***

__

He didn't know when he'd fallen asleep, lord knows he hadn't planned on it, but when he awoke, it was to a pair of hazel eyes staring at him. It wasn't supposed to be like this, Moony was supposed to wake up to meet his eyes, not the other way around! Like most things in his life, he screwed up his shot to make a "good" impression. He'd had it all planned out too. Moony would wake up, turn sleep weary eyes to meet his, and he'd say, "I'm sorry," in true muggle movie dramatic, angsty fashion. 

But nothing seemed to work for him nowadays, and it was really starting to annoy the shite out of him. 

"What are you doing here?" Remus croaked as Padfoot jumped off the bed and transformed back into Sirius. 

"Prongs came and got me when he heard about what happened to you...I guess he felt that just in case...you...I guess some part of him decided it was time to let me near you again..." He stopped, not knowing what else to say. His planned speech felt too empty and rehearsed to use in a situation as real as this. "Listen, Moony...I uh..."

"You hurt me," Remus interrupted. 

His eyes shot up to Remus' face immediately at that. Had he seen anger or hatred...or some other emotion that was just wholly un-Moony-like, he would have been able to handle it. But all he saw was pain, eyes that sparkled with unshed tears, barely held at bay. What was he supposed to answer to a statement as simple as that? "I know..." He watched, fascinated as the tears started their journey down the curves of his friend's face. 

Remus reached up and quickly wiped the tears away as he sniffled. Composure regained, he spoke again. "Don't ever do it again." That was it. That was all that was needed. In true Lupin fashion and grace, he forgave Sirius that easily. 

Part of him wished that Moony had asked for something more, had requested for him to beg. He'd wanted to grovel and cry and...just be all out pathetic in asking for his friend's forgiveness, but Remus had too good of a heart to make him go through the humiliation of begging on his knees. He was too kind to make his friend go through even a mere sliver of the pain that he'd had to endure. 

It wasn't until Remus reached up and wiped his face that he realized he was crying. He didn't even try to pull back in his usual male macho fashion when Remus pulled him into a gentle hug. He had to remind himself not to cling too hard, as his friend had just been patched up, and he knew for sure that Madame Pomfrey would kill him if he did anything to hurt her pup.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." He didn't know how long he sat there, crying into Moony's shoulders, but when he woke up, it was to the same hazel gaze as the last time, only now the eyes weren't cold or pained. They held a hint of the normal humor in them, and that was a sight that Sirius would be forever thankful for. 

***

Forever...well it was a long time, and part of him thought that perhaps, if Remus hadn't forgiven him, James and Lily wouldn't have let him back in their lives, then the secret keeper switch wouldn't have happened, James would have chosen Remus for the job, and they would still be alive and happy because, despite whatever he had thought at the moment, Moony would never betray his friends. 

How was it that even after ten years of friendship, he still didn't fully trust Moony? He loved him like a brother, yes, but he never really trusted him, and the painfully honest side of him realized it was because Remus was a werewolf. The truth of the matter was, he'd never actually gotten over the fact that Remus turned into a beast once every month, part of him never forgot what his family had taught him about werewolves as a child. How do you de-program a lifetime's worth of fear and hate? 

Usually nothing can, but life being life, and Sirius being Sirius, and life treating Sirius in its usual fashion, he was once again proved wrong. In retrospect, it should have been obvious that Remus wasn't the traitor, for purely logical reasons. Yes, it was true that the Dark Lord was offering a so called "cure" for lycanthropy. Yes, he was sure that an offer had been made to Remus to join them. (Who wouldn't want a mind like his on their side?) What he'd failed to take into consideration was the fact that Moony was a canine, and loyalty came first to a dog, no matter what species. Moony was bound to his pack, his Prongs, Padfoot, and Wormtail, not to Voldemort and his cure. It should have been so obvious. 

So, why hadn't it? Why hadn't he realized until now?

~Because you're an idiot, Black, and that's the way of it,~ his inner voice, which sounded remarkably like Remus, snorted to him. 

True, but he wasn't the stupid, pigheaded sixteen year old anymore. He was twenty-two now, he was older, wiser... ~Yeah, okay!~ 

So, maybe not wiser, but, still, he should have known better!

~Should have, could have, would have?! What is that going to do for James and Lily and Harry...and Moony now?! You were an ass! That's the basic truth of it. You were a fucking wanker! You deserve whatever they give you. You are just as responsible as that rat, Peter.~

Well, okay, so the voice was a bit more cruel than Remus', but it did have a point. All he could do was hope that he'd have a chance to talk to Remus, tell him what really happened, so that this way at least one person would know of his 'innocence.' Remus would believe him, right? Moony always was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt, no matter how much he didn't deserve it. Unlike most, Moony would trust him...

***

But that hadn't happened. The Ministry Aurors, his past coworkers, didn't give him a chance to explain himself to Moony, let alone anyone else. He'd been dragged off to Azkaban the next day. He'd seen Remus, of course, but only in passing on his way to the boat. He'd been just another face in the crowd, only, Moony's face hadn't been angry or hateful. No, Moony would never wear an expression like that. It'd had been confusion and pain that he'd seen on Moony that day. After promising never to hurt him again, he'd turned around and did it once more. 

He'd had hope until that day. He'd believed that Remus would swoop in and save him, declaring that it was all wrong, that Sirius Black would never betray his best friend and his own godson. But in Moony's eyes, he had. After all, he'd betrayed his packmate, hadn't he? So, why wouldn't he do it to his friend, especially if an offer of power had been made?

~No! NO! Moony, I didn't do it! It was Peter! Moony, please!~ 

He'd wanted to scream out to him, but he'd known the words would only pain the young man more. His eyes had been dead, devoid of their usual sparkle, his face was completely calm, no trembling lips, no pained expression, the only show of emotion had been in the tears that had flowed down his cheeks unchecked.

__

"Sirius Black is no friend of mine, Severus." 

Perhaps, he'd run out of second chance... 

***


	7. A Time to Remember

****

Disclaimer: see previous chapters. 

****

Author's note: Sorry about how long it took me to write this. Had so many papers to write for school that I was going INsane. Anyway, enjoy, and please let me know if you'd like me to end it there, and then write a sequel. Or continue it for about a chapter more and end it with Sirius showing up at Remus' door during the summer after the Goblet. I would really appreciate it. 

~Chapter 7~

__

He'd been here before. The woods outside of his home. There was something different about them though, something off. Whatever it was, it was familiar as well, as if he'd been in this exact situation before. The knowledge of it remained buried within the recesses of his memory, though, as he continued to walk through the misty woods. 

He hadn't gone two meters before he picked up the slightly familiar scent in the air. Where had he smelled that before? The sweetness of it tickled the hidden areas of his memory. A face, a name started to surface just as he felt the presence nearby. 

"You've already forgotten me?"

He spun at the sound of the melodic voice. He couldn't help but smile. "You've grown older," he stated simply. His smile grew into a grin at the expression on her face. "I thought ghosts didn't age."

"Ah, but I'm not a ghost, am I, Rome? No...I'm just a figment of your imagination, the physical image of what you think I would look like now if I were still there with you."

"So, I'm dreaming again?"

"Yes," she answered simply. 

He sighed. "I never can tell the difference."

She stood and watched him for a moment. He'd grown a couple more inches since she'd last checked up on him. He stood at about 6'2" now, with a few silver hairs growing in at his temples. His voice had taken on a soft, lilting baritone, a change from the boyish soprano he had once been when he was the child of her memories. It was his eyes, though, that captured her. They looked tired, a sadness lingered there, not willing to leave. "You've grown as well..."

He laughed, a sound devoid of any humor. "You mean I've aged...I didn't think that I'd need to dye my hair to cover the grey at age 33." He sighed again. "But it seems that nothing ever goes as planned." He looked at her, keen hazel eyes studying every aspect of her dream visage. "Why are you here, Athens? You only came to me once before, and that was to tell me something..."

"I've been with you for longer than that, Rome...I've always been with you...But you're right," she said with a wistful smile on her face, "I do have something to say, which is why I've come to you this way again. You always did know me a little too well, my little man." She reached out fondly and ran her hand down his face, as she had done countless times when he was a little boy.

He chuckled. "No one's called me that in at least twenty years."

"Old habits die hard I'm afraid," she smiled. 

"Yes, they do..." He sighed, a drawn out breath of air that seemed too heavy to be coming from a man who'd only moved 33 times around the seasons. "I still miss you, Athens. Even after all this time, I still miss you. All of you."

"I'll wager that you'll never truly stop missing us, and you shouldn't. It's your memories that keep us alive in the world, Rome, and I'd be loathe to part from it. You keep us alive, just as you keep the Potters alive."

"Ah, so here it is...the message."

She glared at him; a look softened by the impish smile growing on her face. "Sarcasm never suited you, young man."

He snorted in disbelief. "You never had a problem with it before. So, I'm going to bet that you don't now."

"I told you once to have faith in your friends. I told you that they are what make you human. That still holds true now, Remus..."

"But I don't have anyone..."

"Yes, you do. Someone's come back from the past. You know of whom I speak. Keep your eyes open, Remus. Don't let your past prejudices lead you astray, for not all things are as they seem. I know it's hard, but let your heart guide you; it's never failed you before."

He stared at her with open disbelief before he started pacing. "Never failed me before? I listened to you the last time, Athena, and where did it get me? I'm an old man who has nothing...no friends or family to speak of...the entire world branding me as some menace to society because of something that I can't help...Have faith in my friends? I don't have any friends. All I have is a memory, a promise, and I will keep it. I will protect James and Lily's son. 

"This is one time I can't listen to you, Athens. As much as it pains me to say that, I can't risk it. This is Harry's life, and I will not put him in harm's way because some dream messenger in the form of my sister is telling me to trust a man that betrayed everything that I've ever held dear. I love Harry and James… and Lily too much to do that." 

Athena gazed at her brother for a moment, begging for him to trust her with her eyes. When she finally realized that it wouldn't work, she vocalized the plea. "Please, Remus…You've trusted me before. Please, trust me now as well…"

"I can't, Athens…I love you, but this isn't my life we're speaking of…I cannot do as you ask of me, not this time." There were tears in his eyes when he spoke the words, but the tone of his voice made it very clear that his mind was set. 

So, she nodded, and accepted his decision. Then, very quietly, she whispered, "It's time for you to wake up, Rome…Wake up…" (*)

***

"Wake up, Remus…It's time to start your day, pup…c'mon now." 

"Poppy?

"Yes, pup, it's me. Now come on, get up and get dressed. Your students will start to worry if you're gone for more than a couple of days."

Madam Pomfrey just watched as Remus nodded and struggled up into a sitting position, rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and stifling a yawn. For a moment she saw the little boy he had once been, and her heart melted. "You know, Poppy," he started as he pulled on a shirt, "don't you think that I'm a little too old for you to be checking up on me like this?"

"I check up on you because I care, pup…and you'll never be too old for that, now will you?"

He rolled his eyes (a habit that he'd picked up from Sirius Black back when they were both young and carefree) as he shook his head in amusement. "And I'm not exactly a pup anymore, am I, Poppy?"

"No you are not, but then what would you have me call you? Dog Man? Wolfie?" she asked.

The grin on her face was soon answered by one on his. "You always did know how to make me laugh, Poppy…thank you," he said with a more natural smile. The effect of it was amazing. The wrinkles caused by years of worry and stress seemed to disappear entirely as the few smile lines took over. He looked like the young man he truly was. 

__

"Oh, pup…why it is that life decided to curse such a good soul like you is beyond me," she thought with a sigh. 

"Poppy, is there something wrong?"

"What?"

"You were somewhere else for a moment, I think," he said with a teasing grin. 

"Yes, well, when you get as old as I am a wandering mind is not unexpected." 

The two of them shared a laugh before Remus' expression grew solemn. "Poppy, can I ask you a question?" 

"Of course, pup." 

"I need a completely honest answer from you…In your heart, do you truly believe that Sirius did it?" 

She paused for a moment, trying to understand what Remus was asking. "Remus, I…"

"And I don't mean based on what the Prophet said or what you heard on the wizarding network. I mean, truly, do you think that Sirius, OUR Sirius, would have done something like that?" There was silence before he preempted her only argument. "To James…"

Would sweet, charming, intelligent, loyal Sirius do something like that to his best friend? For years after the incident on that fateful Halloween night she asked herself that question over and over again. Would Sirius betray the Potters; his brother, his sister, and his godson? 

"I don't know, Remus…for a while I went along with what the Prophet fed us. I was angry. If Sirius, someone who lived and breathed for James, Lily, and Harry, could turn his back on everything, what was stopping one of my friends from doing the same? The effects of his actions went beyond just the Potters' deaths, Remus…I started questioning the loyalty of my friends and family. But now…twelve years later…No…I don't think that Sirius did it."

She watched as Remus sat in contemplative silence for a few moments before getting up and stretching out the kinks in his back. "No…I suppose it never really did make any sense, did it?"

"No it didn't…Remus…why did you ask me that?"

"I don't know, Poppy…Athena…came to me again…"

"But she hasn't done that since you were eleven!"

"I know, Poppy…she told me to have faith in my friendships…She meant for me to have faith in Sirius, but I don't think…I don't know what to think anymore, Poppy. I really don't know what to do." 

She smiled at him in silent support, but it was clear that he needed words. So she just simply told him, "Follow your heart, pup. It's never failed you before, it won't start now." 

***

__

Pemberley Manor

~*July 1987*~

"Saaay…dada! Saaay dada! C'mon, can you say dada? Hmmm? Saaayyyy dada!"

"James, give it up already…the kid will say dada as soon as he is good and ready," Sirius laughed from his seat on the couch. 

James glared back at his friend before turning to his son again. "Uncle Padfoot is being an ass, yes he is. Yes he is…can you say asshole?" He smiled when one year old Harry giggled happily. "No? Okay…then, let's go back to saying dada, shall we? Saaay dada…can you say dada? Hmmm? You know, I'm going to tell your mum you said it anyway, so you might as well try…saaay dada!" (**)

There was a pause before a quiet murmur of "dada" broke the silence. "YEAH! My big boy said DADA!" James screamed as he jumped up, grabbed little Harry, and danced around the living room. "Who's the smart boy? I think it's you!" 

"Am I interrupting something?" came a quiet voice from the doorway. 

Harry's green eyes sparkled bright with excitement as he exclaimed, "MOONY!" Both James and Sirius turned to see the somewhat haggard looking young man leaning against the doorframe. 

"Hello my little man, I see that your dad's trying to get you to speak again," Remus grinned as he walked towards the little bundle of energy trying to escape from James' arms. "And from the looks of it he succeeded."

James handed the little boy over to his friend with a grin before playfully accusing, "You know, it took me an hour and a half to get him to say dada again…all you have to do is walk in the room for him to scream out your name…I just don't understand it, Remus…I just don't understand it at all…how long have you been standing there anyway? I didn't hear you come in."

Remus chuckled as Harry playfully whacked him on his nose with his tiny hands. "Just long enough to know that you're already trying to teach your son some profanity," he grinned. He laughed outright when the toddler started plucking at his eyebrows. "Yes, Harry, those are my eyebrows…yes, and that's my nose, and those are your eyes!" 

Sirius watched the scene with narrowed eyes. He could feel the familiar flame of jealousy dancing within him again. How dare he? How dare he come in and disrupt James' household? How dare he step into the role of the father so easily? How dare he make Harry giggle and squeal with happiness so easily when he, Sirius, Harry's godfather, had to struggle to make the baby smile?

Where did Remus get the nerve to just show up whenever he pleased and just take over? Where was he when Harry had laughed for the first time? When he'd crawled for the first time? When he'd stood on his own for those precious couple of seconds? Why hadn't Remus been there to hear Harry's first words? At least the baby had learned to say Padfoot before Moony.

"Don't do it, Padfoot…" He turned to see that James had taken a seat next to him on the couch, and was presently giving him a warning look. 

"Don't do what?" he asked, feigning innocence. 

James glared at him for a moment before stating, quite simply, "You're comparing yourself to him again, and jealousy is baring its ugly green head. I can see it in your eyes." James forced him to look his friend squarely in the eyes. "You remember what happened the last time you got jealous, Sirius? You remember what you put him through, right? You've seen the scars that were added to his body because of what you did? Because I do, Sirius, I do remember, and nothing will ever erase the memory of the way he looked when my father carried him into my house that summer. 

I will never forget the blood, the bruises, the complete disgust I felt towards Justin Wallace…and you. Don't make me feel that way again, Sirius, because I hated myself for feeling that way about you. You're my best friend, Padfoot…but so is Moony, and I will not let you hurt him again. I love both of you a little too much to let that happen a second time."

Sirius sat silently, didn't even try to stop James when he got up to go talk to Lily. He didn't even realize that he was alone in the living room until one of the Potters' house elves came in to clean up the mess Harry had made. 

Was it true? What James had said? Was it jealousy that kept him from making the right decisions? Was it a veil of green that kept him from seeing clearly? Was he suspicious of Remus Lupin because there was a reason for it, or was it because he was searching for a way to bring Moony down a notch? 

No.

No, he wasn't seeing things. Remus was the traitor. Why else would he have pulled away from them just as the dark side was gaining an upper hand? Why else would he start to come back to them now? --just when James and Lily were going to go into hiding. Just when Voldemort wanted the Potters. It made sense. Remus was the spy. 

But then there were times like these when Remus looked so genuine. 

He'd walked up to Harry's room to say goodnight to the baby, but Moony was already there, singing softly to him. It was that muggle song that Moony had sung to him one night. 

"It's called In the Gloaming,_" Remus had confessed when Sirius had just woken up from a bad nightmare back in their third year at Hogwarts. Remus had climbed into his bed and started singing softly to him. After the song he'd whispered, "My sister would sing it to me whenever I'd had a bad nightmare…it always made me feel safe." _

He'd listened to the lyrics as Moony had sung to him. It was a love song, so he'd never really connected to the lyrics, and neither had Moony. It was the melody, and the sound of someone special singing it to you that made you connect. It was a beautiful, haunting melody that stayed with you even after it was over. It would echo in your dreams as you slept. It didn't matter whether or not you remembered the words, all that mattered was the sound of the song. 

Remus had given him a precious gift that night when he'd sung to him. He'd given him a part of Athena, and his memory of her. And now, he was giving the same gift to baby Harry. 

"Sleep well, my little Harry…and always remember that you are loved." Sirius watched as Remus whispered the words to the sleeping child before laying him down in the crib. "I will always be there for you, even after your parents are gone. I don't want them to die, but they will…Voldemort will see to that…" 

So, he'd been right. Remus was the traitor, and now he had proof. All that remained was convincing James that he was telling the truth. 

***

The Forbidden Forest on the outskirts of the Hogwarts' lands were still; night had fallen, and the only thing disrupting the silence was the sound of a few nocturnal animals scurrying about in the dark…and the sound of soft humming coming from the bushes that surrounded the whomping willow. 

"In the gloaming, oh my darling, when the lights are soft and low, and the quiet shadows fallen softly come and softly go, when the trees are sobbing faintly with a gentle unknown woe, will you think of me and love me as you did once long ago?" (***)

Sirius Black sat, huddled against a nearby tree, tattered old cloak wrapped up around him. He wondered if Moony thought of him often. He wondered if there were times the man could remember without hating him. Did Remus ever think back and laugh? Or did he just cry? And if he cried, was it the way he'd cried when he'd lost his family? Or was it more like when he'd cried that day on the dock off the shores of Azkaban? 

Or perhaps…he got angry. 

He deserved that. He deserved to have Moony get angry at him for all he'd done, because there was so much that he'd done wrong. Forgiveness couldn't be an expected luxury for him any more. He wanted it, he craved it, but he couldn't ask for it. His chance for forgiveness had been lost when his mistake had cost two of his dear friends their mortal lives, and one other his happiness. 

"In the gloaming, oh my darling, think not bitterly of me…"

All he could do now was hope that Remus could remember at least some of the good with the bad.

***

__

Pemberley Manor

~*September 1987*~

"I think Padfoot suspects it's me, Jim. I think he believes that I'm the traitor…"

It wasn't James who answered. As always it was Lily who voiced the words he needed to hear. "Well, then, he's just a great bloody git, isn't he? How in bloody hell could he think it's you?" 

"Very easily."

Remus watched silently as Lily Evans-Potter turned flashing green eyes on her husband. "How could you say that?!"

"Lily, calm down, please…"

"You…be quiet, Remus. I'm talking to James right now…" Lily once again turned her angry gaze to James. "Now, why do you think it's so easy for Sirius to believe that Remus is the traitor?"

The moment his fellow marauder looked at him, he knew from the apologetic expression of his eyes, that he wasn't going to like what was going to follow. "Lily…" 

"What?!"

James sighed as he took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose; it was clear that he didn't want to have to verbalize what he was thinking. So, Remus did his fellow marauder a favor. "It's because I am what I am, Lil." He held up a hand when he saw her mouth open to protest. "I am a werewolf, and despite anything that you may say, or that James and Bella may say…the truth of the matter is, outside the walls of our friendship, is the real world, Lily, and the real world doesn't like my kind. Sirius has probably heard the same rumors…the ones stating that Voldemort is offering a cure for my disease in return for joining his ranks. It is a very tempting offer, Lily, and many werewolves have gone over to the other side because of it." 

"Did he make you an offer?" James asked, voice the softest Remus had ever heard it in the twelve years he'd known the young man. 

"Of course he did. Personally, as a matter of fact…" 

He saw James and Lily both freeze at the confession. "You mean…? " "When…?" 

He didn't know which one asked which unfinished question, but it really didn't matter in the end; they were both asking the same thing. "The night of the full moon right after graduation. None of the pack could be there that night…" 

"That doesn't make sense," James interrupted in confusion, "Yeah, Padfoot and I couldn't be there because of an auror orientation session, but Peter could…" 

"Well, he never showed up. But Voldemort saw fit to grace me with his presence that afternoon right before my transformation…It's not an experience I'd like to repeat." 

" I remember that transformation," Lily whispered. "I'd come to see you afterwards…" Realization dawned on her as her eyes grew wide. "Is that why…? You said you'd just had an extremely rough transformation…You lied to me?" 

" I didn't want to scare you…and it wasn't exactly something I was proud of…"

"What did he say to you?"

"Oh, the same thing he's said to all of them. Power beyond imagination, respect, a cure…he said he needed me on his side…" 

"Of course he needed you!" Lily yelled, with a rather humorous amount of indignation considering the circumstances. "He'd be thick to not want you on his side…" 

"Luckily he underestimated your loyalty to us." 

There. 

James said it. Good old Prongs was, once again, the one to say what he so desperately needed to hear. 

"Moony…Remus?" Lily's gentle voice drew his eyes to her. "You have never given us any reason to doubt your loyalty to us. Never. I trust you with my life…and the life of my child. Sirius… is… just… well… He's just thick headed to think you're the leak in the Order." 

He smiled at her, and then at Prongs. "Thank you…You have no idea how much I needed to hear that…" 

In typical James Potter fashion Prongs grinned his flashy grin and slapped him on the back. "Don't worry too much about Padfoot. I'll talk to him about it. Trust me, if anyone can knock some sense into him, it's me…" 

***

She'd known him for twenty-four years, and yet she still couldn't bring herself to not stare at him at times like these. It still surprised her, the amount faith he had in people. The mere notion of Sirius Black's innocence was ludicrous. But in typical Lupin fashion, he was able to put doubt into her mind. He was able to make her question something she'd believed in for the past twelve years. Could it be? Could it be that they had all been wrong for so long?

No.

No. Sirius betrayed everything and everyone. That was the truth. Not this stupid drabble that Remus had been speaking for the past hour and a half. 

She finally couldn't take it anymore. "No, Remus. We are not having this conversation…How could you even THINK such a thing?!"

"Bella, please…just put all that you've been told behind you for a moment…and just think with no preconceptions, no prejudices…please…Bella…Please? For me?"

And then he did something that he hadn't done in years. He gave her what she'd secretly dubbed the "Lupin Little Lost Pup Look." How was it that he could still make her go weak in the knees with only one look from him? 

~Easy…you're still in love with him,~ she thought with a bittersweet sigh. 

Oh, but that look. That look just had the ability to melt hearts. No wonder he'd had such a huge fan base during school. 

Of course Sirius and James had been extremely popular during their years at Hogwarts, but the thing was, Remus was just as popular, if not more among the girls…and the boys that swung that way. All of them had to admit that there had been, and still was, something about the man that was Remus Lupin. Something mysterious and dark. He screamed passion and intensity. Something that neither Sirius nor James possessed in that…incredibly…intense way. 

Later, she'd found out that the reason why he was so mysterious was because of the fact that he was a werewolf, but that, in some aspect, just added to his appeal. For some reason, it just made him all the more strong in her eyes. 

Remus Lupin definitely had strength beyond imagination within him, and she loved him for that. 

"Bella?"

"Hmmm?" She looked up to see his concerned gaze. "Oh, I'm fine…Just tell me what you want to say then, Remy…"

He smiled at her old nickname for him. She'd been the only one allowed to call him that. He'd always thought that it sounded a bit too babyish for his liking. She listened silently, taking in everything that he was saying with that passion he'd always possessed . 

She couldn't help but let his voice run over her, and remember a time when she'd been the one to bring this heat from him. She couldn't help but remember the intense flame of pain that had danced within his eyes when he'd told her that he was letting her go. 

He'd felt that he would be keeping her from her chance at living a normal life with a normal man and normal kids. She'd always seen herself getting married and having children; she'd told him that before she'd learned of his secret. He wanted her to have that. He wanted her to have what he couldn't give her because of the curse he'd been afflicted with. 

What he hadn't realized during his blind, overzealous moment of self-sacrifice was the fact that she didn't want that anymore. The moment he'd confessed his secret to her, she'd changed her plans for her future to fit him in them. It hadn't mattered to her that she wouldn't get a chance to leave behind a legacy of her own. All that mattered was that she would have him in her life, she would have his love. He'd looked over the fact that she wanted him more than she'd wanted her picturesque, white picket fence existence. 

The blind, foolish, bloody bastard had forgotten the fact that she loved him just as much, and with the same intensity as he loved her. 

And she loved him even more because of that…she loved him even more because of the fact that he'd sacrifice it all for her happiness. Too bad she'd already sworn to herself that she'd give her heart to no other than Remus J. Lupin.

"So, what do you think, Bella?" 

She mentally shook herself from her reverie and looked at him. "I don't know, Remus…Maybe…maybe we were wrong about him. Maybe he didn't betray Lily and James, but that doesn't explain why he killed Peter…"

She watched as he sat down and took off his reading glasses. "Yes…I haven't exactly figured out why he would have done that…It doesn't make sense, does it?"

Slowly, she rose from her seat next to his window and walked over to him. "Perhaps…the reason why it doesn't make sense is because Sirius is truly guilty of what he was accused with…" She more felt rather than saw him shaking his head in response. "No, Remus, you've spoken for more than an hour, and I've listened silently. Now it's my turn to talk… Maybe this time you should save yourself all the pain you put yourself through and take the easy road. Sirius Black has caused you enough pain already, why are you inflicting more on yourself for his sake when he never once did the same for you?" 

It took her a moment to realize that there were tears flowing down her cheeks. She cried for him, she shed her tears for him because he wouldn't allow himself that luxury. And then she cried even more because of that. She cried because he was the reason why she was so unhappy. His strength and honor, and warped sense of duty and devotion were what kept him from making her truly happy, and she hated him for that. 

But as much as she hated him for all those things, she loved him even more because of them. They were what made the man she'd lost her heart to all those twenty-one years ago, and without them he wouldn't be who he was. 

"Bella, please…please don't cry." He was holding her now, whispering soothing words of comfort into her ear. "Please, Bella, I know that this is hard…and I know that I'm asking a lot from you, but please…have faith in Padfoot…and in me…"

How could she say no to that? 

She couldn't. So, against her better judgment, she agreed. She silently nodded, and sent a silent plea to the heavens to spare her and Remus from any more pain, hoping against all else that his faith was not unfounded. 

***

He'd forgotten how much he loved her. He'd forgotten how much he'd depended on her. For some reason he felt more confident in his faith now that he had her on his side. He knew that she didn't truly have faith in Sirius Black. But it was her faith in him, Remus Lupin, that gave him strength. If she could push aside everything she'd believed because she trusted him even more than herself, then he had to be right. 

~God, please let me be right.~ 

He sighed and sat back down at his desk. And it was then that his eyes were drawn to it. As if God herself had turned his eyes towards it, his sight fell on the map. 

There. 

The one word that disproved everything that he'd been led to believe for the past twelve years. 

They were both here. Both of them. 

And that could only mean one thing… His dream… Athena…

Without even thinking he jumped, grabbed his wand, and ran out the door. 

He ran. Faster than he ever ran in his entire life. Down the stairs, out the door, to the tree, down the dirt filled tunnel, through the rickety old door, up the stairs…

This was when everything would change. 

This was when he'd get the answers he'd needed to hear. 

He burst through the doors in time to see Harry and his two friends with their wands pointed at the man that had haunted his dreams for so many years. And for the second time in twelve years, their eyes locked. 

"Where is he, Sirius?" 

***

(***) --the lyrics are from a song called _In the Gloaming. _I don't know who it's by originally, but one of my school's a cappella groups does a cover of it. If you'd like to know what it sounds like, just let me know and I'd be more than happy to send you a clip of the song. It is quite beautiful. 


End file.
